- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.36: ⭐
- Dogecoin, the meme-coin that refuses to die, is down but not out. It’s like that cockroach in your apartment – annoyingly persistent. At $0.36, it’s cheaper than a cup of coffee, but with the way things are going, that coffee might be a better investment. 📉
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3675.56: ⭐⭐
- Ethereum, the king of smart contracts, has taken a hit. It’s down 5%, which in crypto terms is like losing your entire life savings in the stock market. Still, at $3675.56, it’s holding on better than my hopes of ever understanding what a smart contract actually is. 🤔
- XRP (XRP)
- $2.38: ⭐⭐⭐
- XRP, the cryptocurrency that’s always in legal trouble, is surprisingly resilient. It’s only down 5%. Maybe all those lawsuits are just free publicity? At $2.38, it’s a bargain, but remember, you’re basically investing in a coin that’s constantly fighting for its life. ⚖️
- LTC (Litecoin)
- $108.85: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Litecoin, the silver to Bitcoin’s gold (or maybe the bronze?), is down 9%. Ouch. At $108.85, it’s still hanging in there, but it’s giving me major ‘I peaked in high school’ vibes. Perhaps it’s time for a career change, LTC? 🎓
- SHIB (Shiba Inu)
- $0.0: ⭐
- Shiba Inu, the Dogecoin wannabe, is down 6%. At $0.00, it’s practically free, which makes it the perfect gift for your enemies. Who needs coal in their stockings when you can give them a worthless cryptocurrency? 🎁
JPow’s latest masterpiece sent shockwaves through Wall Street and the crypto markets are feeling the heat. Millions of portfolios went up in smoke faster than a Dogecoin at a Tesla shareholder meeting. While Amazon scrambles to find office space for its returning employees (because apparently, cancelling leases and forgetting to get new ones is a thing now), crypto investors are left wondering if their digital gold is turning into digital dirt. Amidst the chaos, some cryptos like ETH, DOGE, and XRP are taking a bigger beating than my dating life after my mom’s interrogation. Let’s dive into the wreckage, shall we? (Spoiler alert: it’s not pretty.)
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-12% | 1.81 | 1.81B | 67 | LDO | Lido DAO | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-11% | 14.55 | 14.6B | 20 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 2 |  |
 |
-11% | 7.47 | 2.92B | 48 | ATOM | Cosmos | |
| 3 |  |
 |
-9% | 89% | 108.85 | 9.14B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin |
| 4 |  |
 |
-9% | 0.85 | 8.53B | 40 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 5 |  |
 |
-9% | 31% | 2.14 | 9.21B | 50 | OP | Optimism |
| 6 |  |
 |
-9% | 24.88 | 24.9B | 12 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-8% | 57% | 42.62 | 30.5B | 11 | AVAX | Avalanche |
| 8 |  |
 |
-8% | 7.6 | 11.6B | 17 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 9 |  |
 |
-8% | 5.64 | 11B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 10 |  |
 |
-8% | 5.74 | 7.04B | 24 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 11 |  |
 |
-8% | 94% | 481.05 | 10.1B | 19 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash |
| 12 |  |
 |
-7% | 93% | 0.05 | 4.38B | 34 | VET | VeChain |
| 13 |  |
 |
-7% | 71% | 29.4 | 6.19B | 32 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 14 |  |
 |
-7% | 11.13 | 5.87B | 29 | ICP | Internet Computer | |
| 15 |  |
 |
-7% | 0.52 | 5.17B | 104 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 16 |  |
 |
-6% | 0 | 14.2B | 13 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-6% | 0.36 | 53.1B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 18 |  |
 |
-6% | 0.17 | 5.24B | 31 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-6% | 60% | 0.41 | 20.3B | 16 | XLM | Stellar |
| 20 |  |
 |
-6% | 81% | 115.68 | 1.72B | 78 | QNT | Quant |
| 21 |  |
 |
-6% | 78% | 0.97 | 43.8B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 22 |  |
 |
-5% | 48.54 | 14.6B | 49 | OKB | OKB | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-5% | 57% | 2.38 | 238B | 4 | XRP | XRP |
| 24 |  |
 |
-5% | 5.47 | 28B | 14 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-5% | 3669.11 | 35.9B | 10224 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-5% | 3675.56 | 443B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-4% | 209.9 | 3.87B | 37 | XMR | Monero | |
| 28 |  |
 |
-4% | 9.12 | 8.99B | 21 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO |
The crypto market is a dumpster fire right now, but hey, at least it’s entertaining. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion – you can’t look away, even though you know it’s going to be bad. So buckle up, buttercups, because this rollercoaster ride is far from over. Maybe I should just bring home a whale instead of a girlfriend. My mom did say to cook extra… 🐳