Featured image of post 2024-06-17  Crypto Bloodbath: Even My Grandmas Knitting Circle Has Better Returns

2024-06-17 Crypto Bloodbath: Even My Grandmas Knitting Circle Has Better Returns

Buckle up, buttercup. The crypto market is looking as appealing as a week-old burrito bowl. Let's dissect this dumpster fire and see if we can salvage any dignity (or profits).

  • NEXA (Nexa)
    • $0.00: ⭐⭐
    • With a market cap diluting faster than my attention span during a Rick and Morty marathon, NEXA’s making a strong case for ‘Most Likely to End Up on a Milk Carton’.
  • EXRD (e-Radix)
    • $0.04: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Holding relatively steady while others plummet? That’s like winning ‘Most Sober’ at a frat party – technically an accomplishment, but not exactly brag-worthy.
  • TAMA (Tamadoge)
    • $0.00: ⭐⭐⭐
    • Down 7%? Even my Tamagotchi had a longer lifespan. This is less ‘doge’ and more ‘dog-tired.’
  • PLAY (Play Token)
    • $0.00: ⭐
    • A 10% jump in this market? You’re more likely to find a unicorn riding a Roomba on Wall Street. I smell something fishy…
  • GRV (Grove Coin)
    • $0.02: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Down 4%? Could be worse. You could be holding a bag of magic beans right now. At least this has a grove going for it.

Remember those WSB degens fighting over the last bear? Turns out they were battling for scraps in a bull market. Today’s data dump is about as exciting as watching paint dry in a sensory deprivation tank. Even the cryptos with ‘Play’ or ‘Battle’ in their names couldn’t muster any enthusiasm.


Logo 30D Change 24H Change Circulating Price $ Diluted Cap $ Cap # Symbol Name
0 -12% 0.05 0 3744 STRAX Stratis [Old]
1 +1% 3% 0.03 839M 814 EXRD e-Radix
2 -23% 0 222K 2246 SNM SONM (BEP-20)
3 19% 0.05 356K 2436 BeAI BeNFT Solutions
4 0 365K 2139 RFR Refereum
5 79% 0.01 476K 2127 DAWN Dawn Protocol
6 89% 0.01 743K 1968 WTC Waltonchain
7 -11% 99% 0 753K 1942 MARO Maro
8 -7% 0.01 914K 1888 DREP Drep [new]
9 -2% 58% 0 1M 2000 LYRA Lyra
10 +10% 0 1.85M 1728 PLAY Play Token
11 -4% 0.02 2.12M 1651 GRV Grove Coin
12 +3% 53% 0 2.47M 1775 SSG SOMESING
13 +22% 0 3.6M 1483 REV Revain
14 +2% 0.01 3.72M 1572 VTS Veritise
15 +4% 0.31 3.89M 1463 RGT Rari Governance Token
16 -3% 76% 0 4.06M 1535 XWC WhiteCoin
17 +7% 77% 0 3.97M 1538 BWO Battle World
18 -7% 69% 0 6.28M 1419 TAMA Tamadoge
19 57% 1 8.47M 1392 VAI Vai
20 +1% 97% 0.06 5.57M 1360 WAIT Hourglass
21 -1% 100% 0 5.48M 1358 TABOO TABOO TOKEN
22 65% 0.01 5.86M 1465 ORC Orbit Chain
23 0.4 5.91M 1342 NMC Namecoin
24 +5% 49% 0 6.12M 1547 STRM StreamCoin
25 -7% 0 6.21M 1803 THN Throne
26 1.07 6.39M 1316 CEUR Celo Euro
27 0.01 6.95M 1273 EQUAD QuadrantProtocol
28 -5% 10% 0 68.4M 1256 NEXA Nexa

The crypto market’s current trajectory? About as predictable as a toddler hopped up on sugar and caffeine. Is this the end of the world as we know it? Nah. Just another Tuesday, folks. Invest (or don’t) accordingly.

Made with the laziness 🦥
by a busy guy