- BUSD (BUSD)
- $1.00: ⭐⭐
- Stablecoin my ass! When the only thing stable about you is your descent into irrelevance, you know it’s bad. BUSD - Because ‘Unstable Shitcoin Doomed’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. Though it’s more accurate… just like that WallStreetBets genius on the Boeing flight probably feels right now.
- TUSD (TrueUSD)
- $0.99: ⭐⭐⭐
- Another stablecoin trying to convince us it’s not going to zero. Bro, you and BUSD need to have a intervention. The only “truth” here is that anyone still holding these after that Terra Luna fiasco deserves a participation trophy.
- BTCB (Bitcoin BEP2)
- $65687.54: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Wrapped Bitcoin on the Binance Smart Chain. Because why settle for the OG Bitcoin when you can have a knock-off version? It’s like buying a Rolex from a guy on the street. You know it’s not the real deal, but hey, maybe you can impress some other suckers.
- WHBAR (Wrapped HBAR)
- $0.08: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Oh look, it’s HBAR’s even less cool cousin. Wrapped HBAR - because nothing says “I believe in this project” like adding an extra layer of complexity no one asked for. They are both going down, down, down in a burning ring of fire.
- CRO (Cronos)
- $0.09: ⭐
- Remember that time you thought Cronos was going to the moon? Yeah, good times. This coin is about as relevant as a payphone in 2024. I’d rather be holding that WallStreetBets guy’s Boeing stock - at least that’s guaranteed to take me somewhere.
Speaking of risky plays, one brave soul on WallStreetBets is already planning for the worst. Seems like Boeing’s having another ‘security issue’ - our boy’s stuck on a grounded 737 Max and already writing his will. He’s asking how to short the stock from 30,000 feet, hoping his family can at least inherit some tendies. Now that’s commitment! Makes you wonder if these low-cap coins are any riskier…
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
1 | 70.5M | 506 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 1 |  |
 |
1 | 495M | 126 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 2 |  |
 |
+1% | 81% | 79.2 | 1.18B | 74 | QNT | Quant |
| 3 |  |
 |
2.29 | 2.29B | 49 | LDO | Lido DAO | ||
| 4 |  |
 |
+3% | 93% | 0.03 | 2.35B | 44 | VET | VeChain |
| 5 |  |
 |
+1% | 92% | 2450.8 | 2.46B | 41 | MKR | Maker |
| 6 |  |
 |
+3% | 7.04 | 2.75B | 32 | ATOM | Cosmos | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.1 | 2.85B | 37 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 8 |  |
 |
168.51 | 3.11B | 29 | XMR | Monero | ||
| 9 |  |
 |
65687.5 | 3.97B | 209 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.08 | 4.18B | 820 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+4% | 71% | 0.08 | 4.18B | 30 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 12 |  |
 |
+4% | 8.59 | 4.47B | 24 | ICP | Internet Computer | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+2% | 58% | 0.09 | 4.74B | 31 | XLM | Stellar |
| 14 |  |
 |
+3% | 70% | 24.49 | 5.16B | 25 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 15 |  |
 |
+2% | 52% | 0.84 | 5.23B | 33 | MNT | Mantle |
| 16 |  |
 |
1 | 5.35B | 21 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
5.71 | 5.62B | 22 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.59 | 5.9B | 19 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 19 |  |
 |
88% | 74.27 | 6.24B | 20 | LTC | Litecoin | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+8% | 5.4 | 6.47B | 18 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 21 |  |
 |
93% | 395.65 | 8.31B | 16 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 22 |  |
 |
+1% | 7.08 | 7.81B | 27 | APT | Aptos | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.84 | 8.39B | 34 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 24 |  |
 |
+2% | 26% | 1.96 | 8.41B | 45 | OP | Optimism |
| 25 |  |
 |
5.9 | 8.48B | 15 | DOT | Polkadot | ||
| 26 |  |
 |
+2% | 4.54 | 8.9B | 36 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-2% | 10.02 | 10B | 17 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 28 |  |
 |
65769.5 | 10.1B | 205 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin |
So, there you have it, folks: the underbelly of the crypto casino. If you’re feeling brave, maybe throw a few bucks at these coins (after you’ve maxed out your savings account on Nvidia calls, of course). Or, you know, you could just invest in a nice, sensible index fund. But where’s the fun in that?