Featured image of post 2024-09-25 Crypto Market: Where Lambo Dreams Go to Die

2024-09-25 Crypto Market: Where Lambo Dreams Go to Die

Buckle up, buttercups! Today's crypto market update is brought to you by the letter 'R,' for 'Red,' because your portfolio is probably bleeding. We're diving deep into the bargain bin of the crypto world: coins with fully diluted market caps so low, they make your grandma's stock portfolio look like Bitcoin in 2010.

  • STRAX (Stratis [Old])
    • $0.05: ⭐⭐
    • ‘Old’ in the name says it all. This one’s about as relevant as a flip phone in a TikTok world. 0/10, would not even short. Even the WallStreetBets folks aren’t touching this one.
  • EXRD (e-Radix)
    • $0.02: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • e-Radix sounds like a rejected energy drink from the 90s. Low price, zero percent change…this coin is as exciting as watching paint dry. Maybe it’s time for a rebrand? How about ’e-Zzzzz’?
  • BeAI (BeNFT Solutions)
    • $0.00: ⭐
    • Another day, another AI coin trying to cash in on the hype. With a name like ‘BeNFT Solutions,’ it’s like they’re trying too hard to be cool. Spoiler alert: they’re not. This one’s about as useful as screen door on a submarine.
  • SNM (SONM (BEP-20))
    • $0.00: ⭐⭐⭐
    • A 5% drop? In this market? That’s practically a win! This coin’s making me contemplate investing in actual, physical bridges. At least then I could jump off if things go south.

Speaking of dumpster fires, remember Trump’s social media company? Turns out, shorting that hot mess was like shooting fish in a barrel, according to the geniuses on WallStreetBets. Some lucky ducks even made a cool $60k. Meanwhile, Nvidia’s CEO is out here casually selling $713 million worth of stock. Must be nice. Too bad our low-cap champions can’t even afford a decent leather jacket.


Logo 30D Change 24H Change Circulating Price $ Diluted Cap $ Cap # Symbol Name
0 +1% 0.05 0 4119 STRAX Stratis [Old]
1 3% 0.02 509M 880 EXRD e-Radix
2 19% 0 22.4K 2621 BeAI BeNFT Solutions
3 -5% 0 44.9K 2465 SNM SONM (BEP-20)
4 -9% 0 146K 2282 RFR Refereum
5 +1% 79% 0 182K 2285 DAWN Dawn Protocol
6 +6% 0 317K 2148 PLAY Play Token
7 -2% 99% 0 471K 2011 MARO Maro
8 +7% 0.01 529K 1969 DREP Drep [new]
9 -29% 88% 0 739K 1901 YLD Yield App
10 +1% 89% 0.01 839K 1854 WTC Waltonchain
11 +31% 58% 0 1.04M 1925 LYRA Lyra
12 -2% 14% 0 1.12M 2265 PTS Petals
13 -2% 0.01 1.32M 1701 GRV Grove Coin
14 +8% 69% 0 1.88M 1694 TAMA Tamadoge
15 +1% 87% 0 1.89M 1624 DOCK Dock
16 -6% 83% 0 1.64M 1682 BWO Battle World
17 -3% 97% 0.02 1.71M 1622 WAIT Hourglass
18 0 1.79M 8255 ERC20 ERC20
19 0 1.8M 1603 REV Revain
20 +8% 0.01 2.18M 1632 VTS Veritise
21 -1% 0.18 2.25M 1539 RGT Rari Governance Token
22 -2% 56% 0 2.27M 1697 EPX Ellipsis
23 -1% 0 2.49M 1995 THN Throne
24 +19% 0.04 2.81M 1480 VEGA Vega Protocol
25 -21% 59% 0 4.7M 1468 QOM Shiba Predator
26 -2% 54% 0 2.86M 1641 SSG SOMESING
27 79% 0 3.06M 1514 FOR ForTube
28 -1% 0.3 3.25M 1429 REP Augur

The crypto market is a cruel mistress. Just when you think you’ve found the next Bitcoin, it turns out to be another rug pull waiting to happen. So, keep your diamond hands close, your memes closer, and your sense of humor closest. Because in this game, you either laugh or you cry. Or, you know, just short Trump’s next venture.

Made with the laziness 🦥
by a busy guy