Featured image of post 2024-09-25 Crypto-Royale: Bloodbath or Bailout Edition

2024-09-25 Crypto-Royale: Bloodbath or Bailout Edition

Buckle up, buttercups, it's crypto carnage out there! We're diving into the latest market data to see who's swimming naked when the tide goes out.

  • BTC (Bitcoin)
    • $63819.97: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • The OG crypto is still king, even if it’s starting to look a little long in the tooth. Kind of like that one uncle who still wears a pager. You know he’s got money, but you’re not sure why.
  • ETH (Ethereum)
    • $2622.52: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Ethereum is like the smart kid in class who finally learned how to socialize. Now it’s got all the cool kids (dApps) hanging out in its blockchain.
  • LINK (Chainlink)
    • $12.17: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Chainlink is quietly making moves, like that kid in gym class who suddenly benches 200 pounds. Don’t sleep on this one, folks. It’s connecting blockchains faster than you can say ‘DeFi’.
  • DOGE (Dogecoin)
    • $0.11: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Dogecoin is like that one friend who shows up to a party uninvited and somehow becomes the life of it. You’re not sure how it’s still relevant, but hey, everyone’s having fun.
  • SOL (Solana)
    • $149.80: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Solana, Solana, Solana…always trying to race, but always tripping over its own feet. When it works, it’s fast. When it doesn’t…well, let’s just say there have been a lot of apologies.

Speaking of dumpster fires, remember Caroline Ellison and her ‘best witness ever’ award? Turns out, even snitching on your ex-boyfriend (who just so happens to be running a multi-billion dollar Ponzi scheme) only gets you so far. Meanwhile, in a plot twist even crazier than SBF’s hair, El Salvador is out here mining Bitcoin with VOLCANOES. I mean, who needs regulation when you’ve got geothermal energy, right? Let’s see if those Bitcoin gains are hotter than the lava they’re using to mine them.


Logo 30D Change 24H Change Circulating Price $ Diluted Cap $ Cap # Symbol Name
0 94% 63820 1.34T 1 BTC Bitcoin
1 2622.52 316B 2 ETH Ethereum
2 1 121B 3 USDT Tether USDt
3 +1% 149.8 87.7B 5 SOL Solana
4 -1% 596.12 87B 4 BNB BNB
5 56% 0.59 58.7B 7 XRP XRP
6 1 36B 6 USDC USDC
7 5.63 28.8B 9 TON Toncoin
8 2621.71 25.7B 9641 stETH Lido Staked ETH
9 +3% 77% 0.38 17.2B 10 ADA Cardano
10 0.11 15.9B 8 DOGE Dogecoin
11 0.15 13.2B 9642 WTRX Wrapped TRON
12 -1% 0.15 13B 11 TRX TRON
13 56% 27.57 19.7B 12 AVAX Avalanche
14 +6% 12.17 12.2B 14 LINK Chainlink
15 39.8 11.9B 38 OKB OKB
16 63662.3 9.75B 9644 WBTC Wrapped Bitcoin
17 +3% 8.12 9.08B 25 APT Aptos
18 +2% 0 8.75B 13 SHIB Shiba Inu
19 +3% 3.91 7.66B 39 FIL Filecoin
20 +2% 27% 1.72 7.37B 45 OP Optimism
21 +1% 4.6 6.89B 15 DOT Polkadot
22 +2% 94% 348.55 7.32B 16 BCH Bitcoin Cash
23 -1% 6.88 6.88B 24 UNI Uniswap
24 5.21 6.31B 17 NEAR NEAR Protocol
25 +2% 0.61 6.13B 42 ARB Arbitrum
26 +3% 5.76 5.68B 19 LEO UNUS SED LEO
27 89% 66.19 5.56B 20 LTC Litecoin
28 1 5.36B 18 DAI Dai

The crypto market is like a rollercoaster designed by a bunch of caffeine-fueled toddlers - unpredictable, terrifying, and occasionally makes you puke. But hey, at least it’s never boring, right?

Made with the laziness 🦥
by a busy guy