- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.10: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- The people’s champ is down, but don’t count this scrappy pup out just yet! When the world burns, we’ll all be trading DOGE for scraps of toilet paper. At least you can use your SHIB to wipe away the tears… or something like that.
- APT (Aptos)
- $8.40: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Someone turned on the Aptos money printer! Up 9% in 24 hours? Must be nice. Too bad it’s still down for the year. Maybe try bribing a few longshoremen to pump those numbers up?
- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $60898.94: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- The granddaddy of crypto is chilling like a retiree in Boca Raton - down for the week, but still flashing that gold chain. Will grandpa’s 401k survive the impending economic apocalypse? Tune in next week for another episode of ‘As the Bitcoin Turns’.
- XMR (Monero)
- $137.68: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Monero is like that shady friend whispering about ‘privacy’ in the corner. Down 17% for the week? Probably just buying more burner phones with all that untraceable cash.
- ETC (Ethereum Classic)
- $18.52: ⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum Classic is like the Blockbuster Video of crypto. Sure, some people still have nostalgic memories, but let’s be real… it’s time to move on.
Remember that time Elon Musk tweeted something and accidentally manipulated the entire crypto market? Well, today’s news involves… wait for it… longshoremen! These salty sea dogs are threatening to kneecap the supply chain like a bookie collecting debts. What does this have to do with crypto? Buckle up, because a global recession might just make Bitcoin look like a steal, even if it means your next yacht purchase involves inflatable pool floaties.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+9% | 8.4 | 9.4B | 22 | APT | Aptos | |
| 1 |  |
 |
70% | 18.52 | 3.9B | 30 | ETC | Ethereum Classic | |
| 2 |  |
 |
0.15 | 13.4B | 9 | TRX | TRON | ||
| 3 |  |
 |
0.15 | 13.5B | 9693 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | ||
| 4 |  |
 |
1 | 69.5M | 444 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 5 |  |
 |
1 | 35.6B | 6 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 6 |  |
 |
1 | 121B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 7 |  |
 |
1 | 5.37B | 19 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 8 |  |
 |
1 | 494M | 115 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 9 |  |
 |
5.87 | 5.78B | 18 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
94% | 60898.9 | 1.28T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin | |
| 11 |  |
 |
60819.2 | 3.97B | 9698 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
60750.1 | 9.26B | 9695 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | ||
| 13 |  |
 |
89% | 63.34 | 5.32B | 21 | LTC | Litecoin | |
| 14 |  |
 |
-1% | 40.08 | 12B | 37 | OKB | OKB | |
| 15 |  |
 |
-1% | 94% | 314.61 | 6.61B | 15 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash |
| 16 |  |
 |
-1% | 81% | 68.47 | 1.02B | 75 | QNT | Quant |
| 17 |  |
 |
-1% | 541.36 | 79B | 4 | BNB | BNB | |
| 18 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.37 | 3.74B | 64 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-1% | 3.53 | 6.93B | 39 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 20 |  |
 |
-2% | 93% | 0.02 | 1.93B | 47 | VET | VeChain |
| 21 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.1 | 15.3B | 8 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 22 |  |
 |
-2% | 4.41 | 1.72B | 49 | ATOM | Cosmos | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.08 | 2.35B | 40 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 24 |  |
 |
-2% | 4.08 | 6.13B | 16 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-3% | 52% | 0.57 | 3.55B | 46 | MNT | Mantle |
| 26 |  |
 |
-3% | 137.68 | 2.54B | 35 | XMR | Monero | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-3% | 77% | 0.34 | 15.4B | 11 | ADA | Cardano |
| 28 |  |
 |
-3% | 0 | 9.52B | 13 | SHIB | Shiba Inu |
So, there you have it, folks. The crypto-sphere is a chaotic mess of green candles, red candles, and enough hopium to fuel a small country. Just remember, when the entire financial system collapses, at least we’ll have memes. And maybe some really expensive NFTs of those memes. Who’s laughing now?