- ORDI (ORDI)
- $32.80: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- This weird little gremlin of a coin is somehow up while others are busy self-immolating. Is it the next Bitcoin? Almost certainly not. But hey, at least it’s not named after a dog.
- ARKM (Arkham)
- $1.35: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Arkham… sounds like a Batman villain who lost all his money trading memecoins. The volume’s there, but the price is flatter than my grandma’s pancakes.
- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐
- Ah, BONK. The name says it all. Down 8%? Shocking. This is the crypto equivalent of that one friend who always passes out face-first in the dip.
- EDU (Open Campus)
- $0.52: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Open Campus? More like Closed Portfolio if you bought this dumpster fire at its peak. Down 2%? Join the club, pal.
- NTRN (Neutron)
- $0.38: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Neutron… sounds like a rejected Power Ranger. It’s holding steady, which in this market, is basically a win. Congrats, you didn’t completely suck today.
Listen, you degenerates are obsessed with toilet paper, and frankly, it’s concerning. I mean, the dockworkers get a 62% raise and suddenly everyone’s worried about a Charmin shortage? Get a bidet! Anyway, while you’re stocking up on two-ply, some of these micro-cap cryptos are actually making moves (and no, I’m not talking about BONK).
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
22% | 1.35 | 1.35B | 159 | ARKM | Arkham | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.07 | 7.68M | 1132 | BRICK | r/FortNiteBR Bricks | |
| 2 |  |
 |
-2% | 100% | 5.46 | 5.46M | 1253 | UNIBOT | UniBot |
| 3 |  |
 |
50% | 0.3 | 30.3M | 874 | STT | Statter Network | |
| 4 |  |
 |
28% | 0.38 | 385M | 326 | NTRN | Neutron | |
| 5 |  |
 |
+4% | 63% | 0 | 9.07M | 1241 | BAD | Bad Idea AI |
| 6 |  |
 |
+2% | 0 | 65.7M | 473 | SNEK | Snek | |
| 7 |  |
 |
99% | 0.13 | 128M | 294 | BITCOIN | HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20) | |
| 8 |  |
 |
100% | 32.8 | 689M | 92 | ORDI | ORDI | |
| 9 |  |
 |
+1% | 82% | 0 | 67M | 512 | LADYS | Milady Meme Coin |
| 10 |  |
 |
19% | 0 | 20.3K | 2657 | BeAI | BeNFT Solutions | |
| 11 |  |
 |
2499.69 | 3.56B | 9699 | WBETH | Wrapped Beacon ETH | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
-2% | 32% | 0.52 | 521M | 247 | EDU | Open Campus |
| 13 |  |
 |
-1% | 0 | 64.4M | 502 | AIDOGE | ArbDoge AI | |
| 14 |  |
 |
+24% | 0 | 514K | 2038 | PLAY | Play Token | |
| 15 |  |
 |
0.17 | 503M | 260 | AGI | Delysium | ||
| 16 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.01 | 83.8M | 435 | SDEX | SmarDex | |
| 17 |  |
 |
0.14 | 144M | 877 | UNS | UNS TOKEN | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
+4% | 0.03 | 29.1M | 701 | NXRA | Nexera | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.05 | 5.41M | 1271 | OPTI | Optimus AI | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+3% | 4% | 0.01 | 55.3M | 1501 | HVH | HAVAH |
| 21 |  |
 |
77% | 0.01 | 5.08M | 1353 | IMGNAI | imgnAI | |
| 22 |  |
 |
43% | 0.9 | 1.89B | 75 | CORE | Core | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-4% | 30% | 0.02 | 172M | 532 | GFAL | Games for a Living |
| 24 |  |
 |
0 | 14.7M | 919 | NEXA | Nexa | ||
| 25 |  |
 |
-4% | 86% | 0.14 | 139M | 308 | 0x0 | 0x0.ai |
| 26 |  |
 |
+2% | 0.04 | 23.3M | 1176 | TOMI | tomi | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.01 | 1.11M | 1759 | GRV | Grove Coin | |
| 28 |  |
 |
-8% | 0 | 1.9B | 52 | BONK | Bonk |
So, there you have it. Another day, another crypto rollercoaster fueled by hopium and questionable life choices. Is the market going up? Is it going down? Who knows, and frankly, at this point, who cares. Just remember, when in doubt, zoom out, and maybe invest in a good therapist.