- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $64522.37: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Bitcoin is like that old reliable washing machine in your basement. It’s been around forever, makes a lot of noise, and might break down at any moment, but somehow, it always seems to get the job done (eventually). Plus, it’s up 2% today, so there’s that.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $2531.20: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum is like the over-achieving younger sibling of Bitcoin. Always trying to prove itself with fancy smart contracts and DeFi applications. But hey, with a 2% gain, maybe it’s actually onto something this time. Or maybe it’s just another bull trap. Who knows with this volatile younger sibling?
- LINK (Chainlink)
- $10.99: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Chainlink is the glue trying to hold the crypto chaos together. It connects blockchains to the real world, which is a tough job, kind of like explaining Bitcoin to your grandma. But hey, someone’s gotta do it. And at least they’re not pretending to be an AI taxi driver in Barcelona.
- SHIB (Shiba Inu)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Shiba Inu: Proof that a meme can go a long way (but not necessarily to the moon). It’s up 2% today, which in the grand scheme of things is about as significant as finding a penny on the sidewalk. Still, gotta respect the hustle (and the delusional optimism of its holders).
- SOL (Solana)
- $152.65: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Solana: The fast and (sometimes) furious blockchain. Known for its speed and scalability, but also for its occasional outages. Kind of like that friend who’s always down to party but sometimes passes out before midnight.
Speaking of weird, did you hear about the ‘AI’ taxi in Barcelona? Turns out, it’s just some poor intern wearing a motion-capture suit pretending to be a self-driving car. Almost as believable as those “guaranteed 1000% returns” crypto Telegram groups, am I right? Speaking of questionable life choices, let’s see which coins are making investors wish they had just bought an index fund (again).
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+2% | 94% | 64522.4 | 1.35T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin |
| 1 |  |
 |
+2% | 2531.2 | 305B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 2 |  |
 |
1 | 121B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 3 |  |
 |
+4% | 152.65 | 89.5B | 5 | SOL | Solana | |
| 4 |  |
 |
+1% | 579.99 | 84.6B | 4 | BNB | BNB | |
| 5 |  |
 |
56% | 0.54 | 53.8B | 7 | XRP | XRP | |
| 6 |  |
 |
1 | 35B | 6 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 7 |  |
 |
5.29 | 27B | 10 | TON | Toncoin | ||
| 8 |  |
 |
+2% | 2531.49 | 24.7B | 9701 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 9 |  |
 |
0.11 | 16.4B | 8 | DOGE | Dogecoin | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
77% | 0.36 | 16B | 11 | ADA | Cardano | |
| 11 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.16 | 14B | 9702 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | |
| 12 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.16 | 13.9B | 9 | TRX | TRON | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+1% | 56% | 29.42 | 21.1B | 12 | AVAX | Avalanche |
| 14 |  |
 |
41.94 | 12.6B | 38 | OKB | OKB | ||
| 15 |  |
 |
-1% | 10.03 | 11.2B | 21 | APT | Aptos | |
| 16 |  |
 |
10.99 | 11B | 14 | LINK | Chainlink | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
+2% | 0 | 10.6B | 13 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+2% | 64261 | 9.64B | 9704 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-1% | 7.87 | 7.87B | 24 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+4% | 29% | 1.76 | 7.57B | 40 | OP | Optimism |
| 21 |  |
 |
+2% | 3.64 | 7.14B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 22 |  |
 |
94% | 328.16 | 6.89B | 15 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+1% | 4.26 | 6.42B | 16 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 24 |  |
 |
6.08 | 5.99B | 19 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | ||
| 25 |  |
 |
+1% | 4.82 | 5.86B | 18 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 26 |  |
 |
89% | 65.45 | 5.5B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin | |
| 27 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.54 | 5.4B | 46 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 28 |  |
 |
1 | 5.36B | 20 | DAI | Dai |
So, there you have it, folks. The crypto market: where fortunes are made and lost on the whims of meme-loving degens and bored billionaires. One thing’s for sure: it’s never boring. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to invest in index funds and pretend this whole crazy crypto ride was just a bad dream. Just kidding (or am I?) 😉