- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $67056.75: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- The OG crypto is flexing, probably because even grandmas in their virtual reality sex goggles are buying it now. Is this the singularity? Probably not. Is it funny? Absolutely.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $2608.38: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Still chugging along like that one reliable friend who always picks up the phone, even when you’re just complaining about Bitcoin. What a trooper. Too bad nobody invites him to parties.
- XRP (XRP)
- $0.56: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Remember that friend who always said they’d be rich one day? XRP is still waiting for that day to come. In the meantime, it’s clinging to its 7th place ranking like a cat hanging onto a screen door. Maybe one day they will be rich, but they will still be annoying.
- BCH (Bitcoin Cash)
- $364.65: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Bitcoin Cash is like that cousin who shows up to family gatherings, tries to start a fight with Bitcoin, and then wonders why nobody takes them seriously. Spoiler alert: it’s because they still use a flip phone.
- APT (Aptos)
- $10.00: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Aptos is up 21% this week! That’s cute. It’s like watching a chihuahua try to win a fight against a Great Dane. We’re not impressed. Yet.
Speaking of things more disconnected from reality than my grandma trying to use an iPhone, Bitcoin (BTC) is at a cool $67,056! That’s almost 12% of what Nvidia’s worth. Hold onto your hats, folks, because if this keeps up, we might be paying for our virtual reality sex goggles with Satoshis!
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+2% | 56% | 0.56 | 55.7B | 7 | XRP | XRP |
| 1 |  |
 |
+1% | 59% | 0.09 | 4.74B | 32 | XLM | Stellar |
| 2 |  |
 |
+1% | 6.11 | 6.02B | 19 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | |
| 3 |  |
 |
+1% | 156.49 | 2.89B | 29 | XMR | Monero | |
| 4 |  |
 |
94% | 364.65 | 7.66B | 14 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 5 |  |
 |
0.16 | 14B | 9714 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | ||
| 6 |  |
 |
0.16 | 13.8B | 9 | TRX | TRON | ||
| 7 |  |
 |
1 | 34.8B | 6 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 8 |  |
 |
1 | 121B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 9 |  |
 |
1 | 5.36B | 20 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
1 | 69.5M | 473 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 11 |  |
 |
1 | 494M | 125 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
2609.58 | 25.6B | 9713 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | ||
| 13 |  |
 |
2608.38 | 314B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | ||
| 14 |  |
 |
592.99 | 86.5B | 4 | BNB | BNB | ||
| 15 |  |
 |
66998 | 10B | 9716 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | ||
| 16 |  |
 |
89% | 71.07 | 5.97B | 21 | LTC | Litecoin | |
| 17 |  |
 |
41.06 | 12.3B | 37 | OKB | OKB | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
56% | 27.47 | 19.7B | 12 | AVAX | Avalanche | |
| 19 |  |
 |
94% | 67056.8 | 1.41T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin | |
| 20 |  |
 |
67037.2 | 4.38B | 9720 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | ||
| 21 |  |
 |
10 | 11.2B | 22 | APT | Aptos | ||
| 22 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.08 | 2.32B | 44 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-1% | 81% | 65.43 | 974M | 83 | QNT | Quant |
| 24 |  |
 |
-1% | 86% | 1266.97 | 1.27B | 64 | MKR | Maker |
| 25 |  |
 |
-1% | 5.15 | 26.3B | 10 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-2% | 3.66 | 7.17B | 40 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-2% | 54% | 0.62 | 3.84B | 43 | MNT | Mantle |
| 28 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.36 | 3.65B | 71 | MATIC | Polygon |
So, there you have it, folks. Another week in cryptoland, where the highs are high, the lows are lower than a snake’s belly, and the only guarantee is volatility. But hey, at least it’s never boring, right? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to invest in some uranium. It’s the new Bitcoin, apparently.