- ORDI (ORDI)
- $36.15: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- ORDI is sitting pretty at $36.15. Not too shabby, but also not enough to quit your job at Wendy’s. It’s up 2% in the last 24 hours. To the moon? Nah, probably just to the nearest Tim Hortons.
- BITCOIN (HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20))
- $0.30: ⭐⭐
- BITCOIN. HARRYPOTTEROBAMASONIC10INU. Really? That’s the best name you could come up with? I’d rather buy stock in a dumpster fire. Down 1% – probably going to need more than a wizard to save this one. (I couldn’t find a link to HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu’s website. It’s probably something the dog ate.)
- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐⭐
- BONK. bonk. I mean… do I even need to comment here? Name is hilarious, performance is not. Up 2%, but still priced at 0.00. Guess it’s cheap for a reason. Oh, and good luck finding info on this coin on CMC. It’s not there. (I’m not providing a link, ‘cause I couldn’t find a website).
- CORE (Core)
- $0.91: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- CORE, at $0.91, up 2%. It’s not bad, it’s just… meh. Like lukewarm coffee. Or decaf. Or the feeling when you realize that you’ve just wasted 5 minutes of your life writing an “overview” for a coin named “Core”. (Again, WSB FTW!)
So, apparently, someone turned a cool $200k into a cool $6M playing the NVDA stock market casino (see WSB, if you don’t believe me). $6M would buy you a LOT of these baby cryptos… or you could lose $6M on these baby cryptos – your call, I’m just a humble analyst. Speaking of cryptos, Bitcoin hit a cool 100K CAD. That’s like, a gazillion maple syrup bucks, eh? Congrats and F U to those who bought the top, and congrats and F U to those who bought the bottom from those who bought the top. Circle of life, amiright?
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+3% | 22% | 1.7 | 1.7B | 149 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 1 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.07 | 7.71M | 1154 | BRICK | r/FortNiteBR Bricks | |
| 2 |  |
 |
+1% | 100% | 6.67 | 6.67M | 1200 | UNIBOT | UniBot |
| 3 |  |
 |
50% | 0.24 | 24.2M | 994 | STT | Statter Network | |
| 4 |  |
 |
+5% | 29% | 0.39 | 391M | 336 | NTRN | Neutron |
| 5 |  |
 |
+8% | 63% | 0 | 11.5M | 1174 | BAD | Bad Idea AI |
| 6 |  |
 |
+3% | 0 | 75.1M | 462 | SNEK | Snek | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+1% | 99% | 0.3 | 301M | 219 | BITCOIN | HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20) |
| 8 |  |
 |
+2% | 100% | 36.15 | 759M | 88 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 9 |  |
 |
-2% | 82% | 0 | 70.5M | 526 | LADYS | Milady Meme Coin |
| 10 |  |
 |
+1% | 2800.93 | 4.4B | 9725 | WBETH | Wrapped Beacon ETH | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+2% | 33% | 0.51 | 513M | 262 | EDU | Open Campus |
| 12 |  |
 |
0 | 69.2M | 502 | AIDOGE | ArbDoge AI | ||
| 13 |  |
 |
-28% | 0 | 111K | 2444 | PLAY | Play Token | |
| 14 |  |
 |
+4% | 0.18 | 531M | 261 | AGI | Delysium | |
| 15 |  |
 |
0.01 | 74.2M | 490 | SDEX | SmarDex | ||
| 16 |  |
 |
-6% | 0.14 | 144M | 917 | UNS | UNS TOKEN | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.02 | 20M | 836 | NXRA | Nexera | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.07 | 7.03M | 1199 | OPTI | Optimus AI | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+1% | 4% | 0 | 40.3M | 1655 | HVH | HAVAH |
| 20 |  |
 |
-23% | 77% | 0.01 | 9.39M | 1169 | IMGNAI | imgnAI |
| 21 |  |
 |
+2% | 43% | 0.91 | 1.9B | 82 | CORE | Core |
| 22 |  |
 |
+3% | 31% | 0.01 | 118M | 640 | GFAL | Games for a Living |
| 23 |  |
 |
-4% | 27% | 0 | 37.9M | 1053 | NEXA | Nexa |
| 24 |  |
 |
+9% | 86% | 0.12 | 116M | 359 | 0x0 | 0x0.ai |
| 25 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.02 | 13.8M | 1414 | TOMI | tomi | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.01 | 1.07M | 1837 | GRV | Grove Coin | |
| 27 |  |
 |
+2% | 0 | 2.07B | 52 | BONK | Bonk | |
| 28 |  |
 |
-2% | 56% | 0 | 16.1M | 1093 | RXD | Radiant |
The crypto market, always a source of high-stakes drama, cheap thrills and poor financial decisions. Today’s lesson, kids: Don’t invest what you can’t afford to flush down a golden toilet. And if you see a coin named after a meme, run. Or maybe invest all your money in it. I don’t really care – it’s your funeral, not mine.