- DIONE (Dione Protocol)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- Dione? More like ‘Die-own’ amirite? A 535% pump in 24 hours? In this market? That’s either a rug pull waiting to happen, or someone fat-fingered a buy order. Either way, buckle up, because this is gonna be a wild ride… or a slow, agonizing descent to zero. Stay tuned folks.
- SNM (SONM (BEP-20))
- $0.00: ⭐⭐⭐
- SNM… sounds like a sneeze. This coin is up 447% in a week. Beginner’s luck? Or is this the next big thing? Probably not, but hey, stranger things have happened… like, well, like a man deciding whether to become the next meme or hiring a hitman to kill his parents (yes, Reddit, I see you).
- MPL (Maple)
- $32.96: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Maple… syrup for your crypto pancakes? This one’s been steady at 17% growth over 24hrs. Maybe JPow is quietly buying in while simultaneously fighting off the Orange man’s inflation shenanigans. Who knows? Maybe the real man running the crypto show is actually JPow in disguise!
- SD (Stader)
- $1.13: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- SD - probably stands for ‘Sudden Death’… because you could win big, or lose big. It pumped 248% in 7 days! But let’s be real, that 25bps cut did nothing to calm the WSB apes and likely just made the Fed’s mess bigger. This is like watching a slow-motion train wreck, with JPow at the helm, desperately trying to apply the brakes… but Orange Man’s got other plans.
- BORG (SwissBorg)
- $0.19: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- SwissBorg. More like Swiss Bore-g. I mean, 12% growth? Exciting for a snail, but in crypto, it’s barely a blip on the radar. Unless… unless this is the calm before the storm. You know, like that ‘I’m not f***ing leaving’ energy from JPow, right before he unleashes a monetary meteor shower to counter the Orange man’s inflationary nukes. Just a thought.
Trump’s back, and the markets are already sweating. The Fed might as well hang up their boots, because no amount of rate-hiking is gonna stop the inflationary tsunami that’s brewing from his trade wars. Remember folks, we’re living in a reality TV show where reality is often stranger than fiction. This is the kind of stuff that could drive a man to YOLO $35k to save his farm, only to end up crying in his Lambo when it all crashes down (no offense to our Reddit buddy. We feel you!). Will Orange man cause more inflation? Probably.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+535% | 0 | 5.7M | 1391 | DIONE | Dione Protocol | |
| 1 |  |
 |
+151% | 0 | 485K | 2069 | SNM | SONM (BEP-20) | |
| 2 |  |
 |
+45% | 0.43 | 18.7M | 1019 | MTRG | Meter Governance | |
| 3 |  |
 |
+33% | 57% | 0 | 6.73M | 1426 | EPX | Ellipsis |
| 4 |  |
 |
+33% | 49% | 0 | 3.7M | 1664 | STRM | StreamCoin |
| 5 |  |
 |
+33% | 1.45 | 90.7M | 505 | TON | Tokamak Network | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+31% | 82% | 4.53 | 49M | 624 | DESO | Decentralized Social |
| 7 |  |
 |
+30% | 33% | 1.13 | 136M | 590 | SD | Stader |
| 8 |  |
 |
+29% | 1.28 | 44.8M | 1226 | INDY | Indigo Protocol | |
| 9 |  |
 |
+22% | 89% | 1.09 | 32.8M | 723 | AQT | Alpha Quark Token |
| 10 |  |
 |
+19% | 99% | 0.02 | 38M | 640 | NCT | PolySwarm |
| 11 |  |
 |
+18% | 86% | 0.13 | 129M | 343 | 0x0 | 0x0.ai |
| 12 |  |
 |
+17% | 80% | 0.84 | 82.1M | 494 | ERG | Ergo |
| 13 |  |
 |
+17% | 34% | 0.06 | 64.2M | 821 | HOPR | HOPR |
| 14 |  |
 |
+17% | 88% | 0.64 | 63.8M | 539 | CBK | Cobak Token |
| 15 |  |
 |
+17% | 44% | 32.96 | 330M | 299 | MPL | Maple |
| 16 |  |
 |
+14% | 0.01 | 5.4M | 1298 | TSUKA | Dejitaru Tsuka | |
| 17 |  |
 |
+14% | 0.02 | 52.7M | 863 | MIN | Minswap | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+13% | 0.05 | 5.48M | 1714 | FUND | Unification | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+13% | 6.51 | 32.6M | 756 | OG | OG Fan Token | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+13% | 79% | 0 | 3.89M | 1501 | FOR | ForTube |
| 21 |  |
 |
+12% | 68% | 1.38 | 29.1M | 852 | DERO | Dero |
| 22 |  |
 |
+12% | 0.01 | 423K | 2137 | VEGA | Vega Protocol | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+12% | 0.19 | 183M | 254 | BORG | SwissBorg | |
| 24 |  |
 |
+11% | 0.11 | 11M | 1061 | OPTI | Optimus AI | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+11% | 0.09 | 24M | 963 | NWC | Numerico | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+11% | 68% | 0.27 | 53.4M | 660 | BOSON | Boson Protocol |
| 27 |  |
 |
+11% | 0.01 | 92.7M | 419 | MED | MediBloc | |
| 28 |  |
 |
+11% | 65% | 0.03 | 27.3M | 881 | GOG | Guild of Guardians |
So, the crypto market is basically a casino on steroids right now, with Orange Man as the house and JPow as the slightly tipsy, but determined, pit boss. Buckle up buttercup, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. And remember, always bet on black… or maybe Bitcoin. Who knows anymore? Not me. I’m just a crypto analyst. Don’t @ me.