- WBTC (Wrapped Bitcoin)
- $75872.80: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- WBTC: It’s Bitcoin, but with a digital tuxedo. Classy, but still prone to the same erratic mood swings as its unwrapped cousin. Might just hit SPY $700 by 2025. You know, if JPow keeps printing.
- BUSD (BUSD)
- $1.00: ⭐⭐⭐
- Stablecoins are like the designated drivers of the crypto party. Boring, but necessary. Unless you’re looking for ’not fun’ like our WSB farmer. BUSD is hanging in there, despite its price being flatter than a week-old soda.
- XMR (Monero)
- $164.73: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- XMR: Privacy is its middle name. Probably because it’s involved in some shady stuff. Like, did it hire the hitman WSB suggested? The world may never know, thanks to its fancy encryption.
- CRO (Cronos)
- $0.10: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- CRO: Up 16%? In this market, that’s like winning the lottery while simultaneously getting struck by lightning. Enjoy the fleeting moment of glory, little guy. You are the Nana Farm Boy in making.
- MNT (Mantle)
- $0.65: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- MNT. A circulating percentage of 54% suggests it’s at least halfway to… something. We’re not sure what, but hey, at least it’s not zero! Unless our farmer YOLOs into 0DTE SPY calls and ends up with nothing but memories.
Trump’s tariff threats are like throwing a rabid honey badger into the crypto kindergarten. Will it obliterate the Fed’s independence like a toddler’s tantrum? Will JPOW channel his inner ‘I’M NOT FUCKING LEAVING’ energy and hold the line? Only time will tell if these cryptos can weather the storm or end up as roadkill on the digital highway. One WSB regard is even YOLOing his life savings to save the family farm. Maybe he should’ve put it all on MSTR calls or followed a hitman’s advice instead. This is the crypto Wild West, folks, and anything can happen!
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
1 | 68.3M | 486 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 1 |  |
 |
1 | 495M | 131 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 2 |  |
 |
-2% | 81% | 60.99 | 908M | 92 | QNT | Quant |
| 3 |  |
 |
-8% | 1.26 | 1.26B | 68 | LDO | Lido DAO | |
| 4 |  |
 |
+3% | 87% | 1462.3 | 1.47B | 62 | MKR | Maker |
| 5 |  |
 |
4.52 | 1.77B | 50 | ATOM | Cosmos | ||
| 6 |  |
 |
93% | 0.02 | 1.88B | 51 | VET | VeChain | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.05 | 2.47B | 9856 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 8 |  |
 |
+1% | 75% | 0.05 | 2.47B | 48 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 9 |  |
 |
+16% | 0.1 | 3.01B | 33 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 10 |  |
 |
+1% | 164.73 | 3.04B | 28 | XMR | Monero | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.34 | 3.44B | 78 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 12 |  |
 |
-1% | 7.71 | 4.05B | 26 | ICP | Internet Computer | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+2% | 54% | 0.65 | 4.06B | 42 | MNT | Mantle |
| 14 |  |
 |
70% | 20.1 | 4.24B | 30 | ETC | Ethereum Classic | |
| 15 |  |
 |
+1% | 75886.3 | 4.96B | 9774 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | |
| 16 |  |
 |
+3% | 59% | 0.1 | 5.05B | 29 | XLM | Stellar |
| 17 |  |
 |
4.17 | 5.08B | 22 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
1 | 5.36B | 19 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 19 |  |
 |
0.57 | 5.7B | 40 | ARB | Arbitrum | ||
| 20 |  |
 |
89% | 70.97 | 5.96B | 20 | LTC | Litecoin | |
| 21 |  |
 |
6.06 | 5.97B | 18 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | ||
| 22 |  |
 |
+4% | 4.27 | 6.47B | 17 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-3% | 29% | 1.56 | 6.71B | 47 | OP | Optimism |
| 24 |  |
 |
3.7 | 7.26B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin | ||
| 25 |  |
 |
-1% | 94% | 371.58 | 7.8B | 15 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash |
| 26 |  |
 |
-2% | 8.73 | 8.73B | 21 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 27 |  |
 |
9.64 | 10.8B | 23 | APT | Aptos | ||
| 28 |  |
 |
+1% | 75872.8 | 11.2B | 9768 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin |
So, the crypto market is basically a dumpster fire sprinkled with glitter. Invest at your own peril, or maybe just buy a real farm. At least you can grow potatoes there. Unlike your crypto portfolio after a Trump tweet. Good luck out there, regards. You’ll need it.