- ARKM (Arkham)
- $2.29: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Up 9%? Someone tell JPow to stop printing money! It’s making this coin look almost respectable. Almost. Still wouldn’t bet the family farm on it.
- BITCOIN (HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20))
- $0.26: ⭐⭐⭐
- This name is longer than my thesis on why pineapple belongs on pizza. And the price? Let’s just say it needs more magic than Harry Potter and less speed than Sonic. With the fully diluted market cap, you’d think this coin could print more zeroes…after the decimal point.
- ORDI (ORDI)
- $35.69: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Look at ORDI flexing those gains like JPow refusing to resign. This coin actually seems legit. Too bad it costs more than a YOLO bet on 0DTE SPY calls. It must be doing better than my attempts to save my family farm with shitcoins.
- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.0: ⭐
- With a name like Bonk, you’d think it’d at least be good for a pump and dump. Nope. This coin is about as exciting as watching paint dry. It has a big fully diluted market cap so we must be early.
- 0x0 (0x0.ai)
- $0.13: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Up 22%? Is this a glitch in the matrix or some actual AI sorcery? With these meme stock gains, it’s doing a better job than most of WSB. At least they’re finally up to 0x0.something.
Trump’s back, and he’s about to make the Fed’s job harder than trying to find a Bitcoin at a garage sale. This could be good news or bad news for our baby cryptos. Maybe Bitcoin (HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu) will finally live up to its ridiculous name and pull off some magic.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+9% | 22% | 2.29 | 2.29B | 127 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 1 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.07 | 7.43M | 1182 | BRICK | r/FortNiteBR Bricks | |
| 2 |  |
 |
+2% | 100% | 7.13 | 7.13M | 1193 | UNIBOT | UniBot |
| 3 |  |
 |
50% | 0.24 | 23.5M | 1017 | STT | Statter Network | |
| 4 |  |
 |
+1% | 29% | 0.38 | 377M | 346 | NTRN | Neutron |
| 5 |  |
 |
+5% | 63% | 0 | 11.1M | 1204 | BAD | Bad Idea AI |
| 6 |  |
 |
+8% | 0 | 84.8M | 431 | SNEK | Snek | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+3% | 99% | 0.26 | 262M | 227 | BITCOIN | HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20) |
| 8 |  |
 |
+2% | 100% | 35.69 | 749M | 92 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 9 |  |
 |
-7% | 82% | 0 | 65.9M | 544 | LADYS | Milady Meme Coin |
| 10 |  |
 |
+3% | 3062.89 | 4.97B | 9768 | WBETH | Wrapped Beacon ETH | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+1% | 33% | 0.49 | 489M | 283 | EDU | Open Campus |
| 12 |  |
 |
+2% | 0 | 65.8M | 523 | AIDOGE | ArbDoge AI | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+2% | 0 | 73.4K | 2534 | PLAY | Play Token | |
| 14 |  |
 |
+2% | 0.17 | 522M | 272 | AGI | Delysium | |
| 15 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.01 | 80.4M | 474 | SDEX | SmarDex | |
| 16 |  |
 |
0.15 | 153M | 902 | UNS | UNS TOKEN | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
-7% | 0.02 | 21.2M | 848 | NXRA | Nexera | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+13% | 0.11 | 10.9M | 1065 | OPTI | Optimus AI | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-1% | 4% | 0 | 35.7M | 1704 | HVH | HAVAH |
| 20 |  |
 |
-3% | 77% | 0.01 | 8.02M | 1248 | IMGNAI | imgnAI |
| 21 |  |
 |
43% | 0.89 | 1.87B | 86 | CORE | Core | |
| 22 |  |
 |
-5% | 31% | 0.01 | 115M | 660 | GFAL | Games for a Living |
| 23 |  |
 |
-5% | 27% | 0 | 35.3M | 1084 | NEXA | Nexa |
| 24 |  |
 |
+22% | 86% | 0.13 | 131M | 343 | 0x0 | 0x0.ai |
| 25 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.01 | 7.59M | 1630 | TOMI | tomi | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.01 | 1.03M | 1855 | GRV | Grove Coin | |
| 27 |  |
 |
+3% | 0 | 2.07B | 53 | BONK | Bonk | |
| 28 |  |
 |
+5% | 57% | 0 | 15.4M | 1120 | RXD | Radiant |
So, the crypto market? It’s like a rollercoaster designed by a toddler. Up, down, sideways, and occasionally puking your gains everywhere. But hey, at least it’s not boring. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go try and convince my parents to let me keep the farm by promising them I’ll turn it into a crypto mining haven. Wish me luck.