- ORDI (ORDI)
- $44.89: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- ORDI, the darling of crypto grandpas everywhere, popped 16% today. If only they knew about crypto.cum, things could get really wild. (Insert obligatory ‘wash your balls’ joke here).
- TRB (Tellor)
- $87.89: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Tellor’s up 54% in 24 hours. Someone must have told them a really good joke. Or maybe they’re just riding Bitcoin’s coattails. Who knows? Crypto’s a wild ride, baby!
- SNT (Status)
- $0.04: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Status is giving some serious ‘I’m not dead yet’ vibes with a 49% jump. Are they the next Bitcoin? Probably not. But hey, stranger things have happened in crypto.
- GF (GuildFi)
- $0.01: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- GuildFi? More like ‘Guild-Buy-High-Sell-Low’, amirite? Up 65% in 24 hours. This is either a genius move or a total disaster. Place your bets, folks!
- ELON (Dogelon Mars)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Dogelon Mars. Seriously? That’s the name? Up 32% today, because of course it is. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Bitcoin just hit $80,000! Grandpas are storming the banks, demanding Bitcoin like it’s the early bird special. Remember that guy who made $115 after 6 years? He’s probably feeling like a genius right now. Meanwhile, some coins on this list are pumping like they’re auditioning for a crypto-themed Magic Mike show.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+65% | 2% | 0.01 | 9.43M | 2247 | GF | GuildFi |
| 1 |  |
 |
+54% | 87.89 | 237M | 247 | TRB | Tellor | |
| 2 |  |
 |
+49% | 0.04 | 270M | 310 | SNT | Status | |
| 3 |  |
 |
+42% | 0.04 | 32.5M | 751 | NXRA | Nexera | |
| 4 |  |
 |
+34% | 0 | 45.7M | 621 | KISHU | Kishu Inu | |
| 5 |  |
 |
+32% | 0 | 232M | 342 | ELON | Dogelon Mars | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+30% | 66% | 0.04 | 42.3M | 773 | GOG | Guild of Guardians |
| 7 |  |
 |
+30% | 0 | 37.2M | 678 | FUN | FUNToken | |
| 8 |  |
 |
+29% | 1.39 | 139M | 503 | SLND | Save | |
| 9 |  |
 |
+28% | 47% | 0 | 393M | 283 | VVS | VVS Finance |
| 10 |  |
 |
+28% | 30% | 0.01 | 942K | 2238 | HSF | Hillstone Finance |
| 11 |  |
 |
+27% | 0.55 | 554M | 226 | TRIBE | Tribe | |
| 12 |  |
 |
+26% | 0.07 | 8.85M | 1591 | FUND | Unification | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+24% | 80% | 0.19 | 35.4M | 771 | ALPACA | Alpaca Finance |
| 14 |  |
 |
+24% | 0.03 | 65.4M | 562 | META | Metadium | |
| 15 |  |
 |
+24% | 0.01 | 7.02M | 1239 | TSUKA | Dejitaru Tsuka | |
| 16 |  |
 |
+23% | 27% | 0 | 45M | 1030 | NEXA | Nexa |
| 17 |  |
 |
+23% | 63% | 0 | 14.6M | 1127 | BAD | Bad Idea AI |
| 18 |  |
 |
+20% | 2.05 | 88.7M | 436 | ANT | Aragon | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+19% | 76% | 0.02 | 19.2M | 971 | XWC | WhiteCoin |
| 20 |  |
 |
+19% | 90% | 0 | 1.53M | 1773 | BWO | Battle World |
| 21 |  |
 |
+18% | 0 | 3.56M | 1474 | COVAL | Circuits of Value | |
| 22 |  |
 |
+17% | 91% | 0 | 215M | 269 | TEL | Telcoin |
| 23 |  |
 |
+16% | 0.04 | 39.4M | 663 | FCT | FirmaChain | |
| 24 |  |
 |
+16% | 0.11 | 30.8M | 921 | NWC | Numerico | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+16% | 0.07 | 8.19M | 1182 | SOUL | Phantasma | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+16% | 100% | 44.89 | 943M | 84 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 27 |  |
 |
+16% | 0.15 | 12.6M | 1111 | SDN | Shiden Network | |
| 28 |  |
 |
+15% | 0.11 | 130M | 360 | BORA | BORA |
So, there you have it. Crypto’s either about to explode or implode. Maybe both. It’s like a reality TV show where the prize is either a Lambo or a cardboard box. Tune in tomorrow to see who gets voted off the island. Don’t forget to DCA out before the grandpas cash out and the whole market crashes. Just sayin’.