- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3369.55: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum, the OG altcoin, up 6%! That’s like finding a twenty in your winter coat, enough for a celebratory latte at WSB HQ. But remember kids, the last peak was $69k…according to someone’s grandma’s newspaper.
- SOL (Solana)
- $217.34: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Solana, the supposed ‘Ethereum killer’, is also up 3%. It’s more like a gentle nudge than a kill shot. Maybe it identifies more as an ‘Ethereum tickler’ now? Still, at least it’s not shorting itself like that WSB genius with TSLA calls.
- MATIC (Polygon)
- $0.43: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Polygon, the scaling solution, is chilling with a 5% gain. Not quite enough to impress those WSB degens, but hey, at least it’s not down like that dude’s life savings. Maybe he should have put it in MATIC instead of hookers and blow…just saying.
- ADA (Cardano)
- $0.61: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Cardano, everyone’s favorite ‘potential’ coin, hopped up 5%. Still cheaper than a cup of that free coffee some companies took away (RIP employee morale). At least it’s moving in the right direction, unlike that guy who bet against the presidential stock…classic regard move.
- XMR (Monero)
- $157.53: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Monero, the privacy king, is down 1%. But hey, at least nobody knows about your losses when you’re using XMR. Perfect for those WSB gamblers who don’t want their wives seeing their disastrous portfolios.
Trump’s back, Tesla’s mooning, and WSB gamblers are either bragging about their TSLA FDs or crying in their ramen. One dude claims he made enough Bitcoin to retire and buy three houses, while another laments his 125k gambling losses. Should we tell him about index funds? Nah. Let’s see how the 1B crypto market stacks up against this real-world circus.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-1% | 157.53 | 2.91B | 36 | XMR | Monero | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-1% | 1.24 | 1.24B | 76 | LDO | Lido DAO | |
| 2 |  |
 |
81% | 66.93 | 996M | 97 | QNT | Quant | |
| 3 |  |
 |
1 | 496M | 137 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 4 |  |
 |
1 | 5.36B | 24 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 5 |  |
 |
1 | 36.8B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 6 |  |
 |
1 | 68.3M | 521 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 7 |  |
 |
1 | 127B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 8 |  |
 |
0.17 | 14.3B | 12 | TRX | TRON | ||
| 9 |  |
 |
6.19 | 6.1B | 23 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
0.17 | 14.5B | 9812 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | ||
| 11 |  |
 |
54% | 0.78 | 4.85B | 40 | MNT | Mantle | |
| 12 |  |
 |
+2% | 46.27 | 13.9B | 38 | OKB | OKB | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+3% | 217.34 | 128B | 4 | SOL | Solana | |
| 14 |  |
 |
+3% | 640.95 | 92.4B | 5 | BNB | BNB | |
| 15 |  |
 |
+3% | 5.49 | 28.1B | 13 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 16 |  |
 |
+3% | 9.27 | 4.87B | 26 | ICP | Internet Computer | |
| 17 |  |
 |
+3% | 5.44 | 6.64B | 18 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+3% | 87% | 1514.73 | 1.52B | 63 | MKR | Maker |
| 19 |  |
 |
+4% | 70% | 23.61 | 4.97B | 32 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 20 |  |
 |
+4% | 94% | 451.23 | 9.48B | 15 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash |
| 21 |  |
 |
+4% | 89% | 79.91 | 6.71B | 20 | LTC | Litecoin |
| 22 |  |
 |
+4% | 75% | 0.06 | 2.89B | 51 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 23 |  |
 |
+5% | 77% | 0.61 | 27.6B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 24 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.06 | 2.9B | 9901 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.66 | 6.6B | 41 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.43 | 4.29B | 77 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 27 |  |
 |
+6% | 3369.55 | 406B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 28 |  |
 |
+6% | 4.46 | 8.75B | 39 | FIL | Filecoin |
So, the crypto market is bouncing around like a toddler on a sugar rush. Some up, some down, all volatile. It’s like watching a reality TV show – entertaining, but ultimately meaningless. Will anyone actually make a whole Bitcoin? Stay tuned, folks. Next minute on Bitcoin…