- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐
- BONK…seriously? This coin makes Dogecoin look like a Nobel Prize winner. With a 14% bump, it’s either going to the moon or straight to the digital landfill. I’m betting on the latter.
- TSLA (Tesla)
- $N/A: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Not a crypto, but hotter than a jalapeno in a tanning bed right now. Elon’s ego and TSLA’s stock are in a race to Mars. Buckle up, buttercup.
- MSTR (MicroStrategy)
- $N/A: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Someone turned a 6 year losing streak into a winning hand thanks to MSTR leaps. Proof that monkeys throwing darts at a stock board occasionally hit a bullseye. Or maybe they just got lucky. Whatever it is, it is pretty wild, man.
- BabyDoge (Baby Doge Coin)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- This pup is up 6%. Cute name, but likely to end up in the crypto dog pound. Much wow, such investment. Not.
- ORDI (ORDI)
- $43.82: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- ORDI is up 4%. Thrilling. About as exciting as watching paint dry. Might as well invest in grass seed, at least you can watch it grow.
Remember that guy who turned $10k into $149k on $TSLA calls? Well, someone else just broke even after 6 YEARS of trading. Meanwhile, hedge funds shorting Tesla are down $5 BILLION. This market is more bipolar than my ex. And somewhere, someone is trying to recoup their losses with $1k. Should they YOLO on CAVA or buy kneepads?
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+14% | 0 | 2.64B | 52 | BONK | Bonk | |
| 1 |  |
 |
+9% | 89% | 1.6 | 4.34B | 28 | FET | Artificial Superintelligence Alliance |
| 2 |  |
 |
+4% | 100% | 43.82 | 920M | 86 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 3 |  |
 |
+32% | 0.41 | 257M | 199 | SXP | Solar | |
| 4 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.07 | 350M | 168 | PEOPLE | ConstitutionDAO | |
| 5 |  |
 |
+14% | 0.63 | 116M | 371 | ARK | Ark | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+3% | 5.69 | 1.47B | 85 | PENDLE | Pendle | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+5% | 22% | 2.36 | 2.36B | 133 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 8 |  |
 |
-6% | 0.04 | 239M | 328 | SNT | Status | |
| 9 |  |
 |
-7% | 75.64 | 204M | 274 | TRB | Tellor | |
| 10 |  |
 |
-12% | 4.67 | 2.59B | 70 | RAY | Raydium | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+4% | 98% | 0.02 | 1.15B | 73 | JASMY | JasmyCoin |
| 12 |  |
 |
+6% | 78% | 0 | 572M | 143 | BabyDoge | Baby Doge Coin |
| 13 |  |
 |
+8% | 43% | 1.08 | 2.28B | 80 | CORE | Core |
| 14 |  |
 |
0.01 | 651M | 119 | CKB | Nervos Network | ||
| 15 |  |
 |
+12% | 4.8 | 312M | 177 | GAS | Gas | |
| 16 |  |
 |
+10% | 100% | 0.1 | 101M | 416 | ARDR | Ardor |
| 17 |  |
 |
+3% | 38% | 0.54 | 542M | 265 | YGG | Yield Guild Games |
| 18 |  |
 |
+6% | 0.84 | 234M | 259 | SUSHI | SushiSwap | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+6% | 1.47 | 1.31B | 69 | OM | MANTRA | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+6% | 92% | 0.11 | 57.3M | 579 | AERGO | Aergo |
| 21 |  |
 |
+10% | 0.59 | 83.8M | 464 | HIFI | Hifi Finance | |
| 22 |  |
 |
+9% | 0.14 | 143M | 324 | CVC | Civic | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+1% | 38% | 0.46 | 927M | 163 | ID | SPACE ID |
| 24 |  |
 |
22.06 | 261M | 200 | SSV | ssv.network | ||
| 25 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.4 | 470M | 193 | LUNA | Terra | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+5% | 84% | 0.38 | 379M | 174 | ZRX | 0x Protocol |
| 27 |  |
 |
+3% | 48% | 0.01 | 117M | 567 | TLM | Alien Worlds |
| 28 |  |
 |
+4% | 49% | 0.02 | 397M | 278 | SUN | Sun [New] |
Crypto today is like a rollercoaster designed by a toddler. Up, down, sideways, who the hell knows. One thing’s for sure: the absurdity is what keeps it interesting. Or maybe we’re all just destined to be poor.