- LINK (Chainlink)
- $13.52: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Chainlink, the oracle of oracles, chilling like a villain in a spy movie. Flat 7-day change? More like ‘strategically consolidating’ before the next pump, right? Right? Guys?
- HBAR (Hedera)
- $0.07: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Hedera, my dude, what’s happening? A 37% 7-day gain is respectable, but you’re still in the bargain bin. Maybe try partnering with Dogecoin? It worked for Elon…
- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $89335.58: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Bitcoin, the OG, flexing its muscles with a $100B+ gain for its anonymous creator. Satoshi, if you’re reading this, DM me. We need to talk yachts.
- CRO (Cronos)
- $0.17: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Cronos is up 60% in 7 days - not bad for a coin most people can’t pronounce. Is this a bull trap, or a sign of great things to come? I have no idea, but it’s fun to watch!
Hold onto your hats, folks! While Trump’s allegedly planning to nuke EV tax credits (sending Rivian to the shadow realm and Tesla to… Mars?), Bitcoin’s creator, Satoshi, is now richer than some small countries, with his Bitcoin wallet bulging at over $100 BILLION. Meanwhile, Palantir’s jumping ship from the NYSE to Nasdaq, probably hoping to snag a spot on the Nasdaq-100. Does this mean PLTR moon soon? Don’t ask me, I just report the chaos.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+14% | 75% | 0.07 | 3.51B | 38 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 1 |  |
 |
+14% | 56% | 0.81 | 81.5B | 7 | XRP | XRP |
| 2 |  |
 |
+14% | 0.07 | 3.51B | 9964 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 3 |  |
 |
+7% | 0.17 | 5.09B | 25 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 4 |  |
 |
+7% | 77% | 0.62 | 27.7B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 5 |  |
 |
+5% | 59% | 0.13 | 6.66B | 26 | XLM | Stellar |
| 6 |  |
 |
+4% | 5.53 | 6.75B | 20 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+2% | 89% | 82.65 | 6.94B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin |
| 8 |  |
 |
+1% | 11.95 | 13.5B | 21 | APT | Aptos | |
| 9 |  |
 |
+1% | 13.52 | 13.5B | 16 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 10 |  |
 |
81% | 62.45 | 929M | 103 | QNT | Quant | |
| 11 |  |
 |
1 | 494M | 136 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
1 | 68.4M | 510 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 13 |  |
 |
1 | 36.8B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 14 |  |
 |
1 | 5.36B | 23 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 15 |  |
 |
1 | 130B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 16 |  |
 |
0.18 | 15.6B | 10 | TRX | TRON | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
1.15 | 1.15B | 74 | LDO | Lido DAO | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
0.18 | 15.8B | 9876 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | ||
| 19 |  |
 |
70% | 22.29 | 4.7B | 31 | ETC | Ethereum Classic | |
| 20 |  |
 |
5.07 | 1.98B | 50 | ATOM | Cosmos | ||
| 21 |  |
 |
-1% | 145.11 | 2.68B | 37 | XMR | Monero | |
| 22 |  |
 |
-1% | 5.31 | 27.2B | 12 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-1% | 4.94 | 7.5B | 18 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 24 |  |
 |
-1% | 43.42 | 13B | 39 | OKB | OKB | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-1% | 623.32 | 89.8B | 5 | BNB | BNB | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-1% | 89013.5 | 13.1B | 9878 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-2% | 94% | 89335.6 | 1.88T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin |
| 28 |  |
 |
-2% | 89245 | 5.83B | 9880 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 |
The crypto market, ladies and gentlemen, is a beautiful disaster. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion, except the train is made of money, and the passengers are all wearing diamond-encrusted lambos. So, is the market going up? Down? Sideways? Who knows? Just buy high, sell low, and pray to the Crypto Gods for mercy.