- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $91779.88: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Bitcoin’s back at 90k, proving once again that it’s the cockroach of the financial world. No matter how many times you try to kill it, it just keeps coming back. This is better than freefall, as some Redditor put it so elegantly.
- LINK (Chainlink)
- $14.84: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ah, Chainlink, the data oracle that’s about as reliable as my weather app. It’s not exactly setting the world on fire, but hey, at least it’s not crashing like Netflix, which might be an easier buy ever as someone pointed out.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3134.65: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum’s trying to keep up with Bitcoin, like a chihuahua chasing a Great Dane. Sure, they may cover some ground, but at the end of the day, we all know who’s boss. Now, when ETH drops below $3k…quit.
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.38: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Dogecoin’s still hanging around, proving that memes have more staying power than my high school crush. It hasn’t mooned yet, but hey, there’s always hope. Maybe Elon will tweet about it again.
- XRP (XRP)
- $1.17: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- XRP, the cryptocurrency that’s always in court and never on the moon. Its circulating percentage is only 56%, hence we all keep fingers crossed
So, as if Bitcoin’s gravity-defying act wasn’t enough, we’ve got Mpox and Bird Flu joining the party. Apparently, pandemics are the new black. If you thought dodging a market crash was stressful, try dodging a virus that could make you break out in hives or sprout feathers. Time to invest in hazmat suits, or maybe just Bavarian Nordic stock like that WSB guy suggested? Meanwhile, the equity risk premium is doing the limbo, trying to get as close to zero as possible. If that doesn’t scream “stable market,” I don’t know what does. Oh, and did I mention Netflix crashed harder than my dating life during their live stream? Turns out 65 million people can overload a server faster than a toddler with a sugar rush.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+1% | 94% | 91779.9 | 1.93T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin |
| 1 |  |
 |
3134.65 | 377B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | ||
| 2 |  |
 |
+2% | 242.26 | 143B | 4 | SOL | Solana | |
| 3 |  |
 |
1 | 130B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 4 |  |
 |
+8% | 56% | 1.17 | 117B | 6 | XRP | XRP |
| 5 |  |
 |
-2% | 627.08 | 89.7B | 5 | BNB | BNB | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+4% | 0.38 | 55.1B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 7 |  |
 |
1 | 37.1B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 8 |  |
 |
+5% | 77% | 0.76 | 34.2B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 9 |  |
 |
3133.66 | 30.7B | 9886 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
-1% | 5.54 | 28.3B | 13 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.2 | 17.9B | 9887 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | |
| 12 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.2 | 17.7B | 10 | TRX | TRON | |
| 13 |  |
 |
-1% | 57% | 35.91 | 25.7B | 12 | AVAX | Avalanche |
| 14 |  |
 |
+3% | 0 | 15B | 11 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 15 |  |
 |
+2% | 14.84 | 14.8B | 15 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 16 |  |
 |
-3% | 12.14 | 13.7B | 23 | APT | Aptos | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-1% | 44.93 | 13.5B | 42 | OKB | OKB | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+1% | 91586.7 | 13.5B | 9889 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+17% | 59% | 0.24 | 11.8B | 21 | XLM | Stellar |
| 20 |  |
 |
+1% | 9.23 | 9.23B | 24 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 21 |  |
 |
4.59 | 9B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin | ||
| 22 |  |
 |
94% | 451.97 | 9.49B | 17 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+3% | 5.88 | 8.94B | 18 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 24 |  |
 |
+2% | 89% | 93.63 | 7.86B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin |
| 25 |  |
 |
+1% | 7.74 | 7.63B | 20 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-2% | 29% | 1.74 | 7.49B | 53 | OP | Optimism |
| 27 |  |
 |
-1% | 5.94 | 7.25B | 19 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 28 |  |
 |
0.7 | 7.04B | 40 | ARB | Arbitrum |
The crypto market’s a bit like a reality TV show - full of drama, unpredictability, and people making questionable decisions. So, buckle up, buttercup, because this rollercoaster ride’s just getting started. And remember, if all else fails, there’s always Bavarian Nordic and funeral homes. If you’re going to flap your gums with a bearish thesis, but then take the ultra-ghey position of “i have no moves”, please step over here and flap your gums on deez nuts. (I learned that on Reddit, don’t judge me).