- BITCOIN (HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20))
- $0.22: ⭐⭐⭐
- With a name like HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu, you know this coin is going places. Probably down. Way down. It’s like the crypto equivalent of that weird thrift store t-shirt you bought ironically but are now secretly attached to. 24h change: -14%. Oof.
- OM (MANTRA)
- $3.88: ⭐⭐
- MANTRA promising enlightenment? More like financial despair. Down 9% in 24h, this coin’s mantra seems to be ‘buy high, sell low.’ Maybe they should try chanting ‘diamond hands’ instead. Just kidding, diamond hands are for suckers.
- SNM (SONM (BEP-20))
- $0.00: ⭐
- Down 89% in 24 hours? SNM, more like SCAM. This coin’s performance is giving Spirit Airlines a run for its money in the ’things that disappoint you’ category. Buy puts on life insurance companies? More like buy puts on everything.
- YLD (Yield App)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- Yield App? Yielding disappointment, more like. -37% in 24h. This coin’s performance is like a Peloton bike at Costco - a reminder of your failed fitness resolutions. At least TSLA puts are printing. Thanks, Elon!
- CLV (CLV)
- $0.08: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Up 141% in 7 days, then down 12% in 24 hours. This coin’s more volatile than a Tesla on autopilot navigating Boston in a snowstorm. It’s like trying to relax self-driving regulations - a recipe for disaster.
Remember that time you bought Spirit Airlines tickets hoping for a smooth ride? This market’s about as reliable. Turns out, even Palantir’s shadowy algorithms couldn’t predict this crypto carnage. While Michael Saylor continues to buy Bitcoin like it’s going out of style (someone tell him it already did), our 10M cryptos are taking a beating. Maybe he’s trying to single-handedly prop up the market so he doesn’t end up serving McChickens with the rest of us. Who knows, maybe he’s onto something. Or maybe we’re all just doomed. Either way, at least it’s entertaining, right?
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-89% | 0 | 36.7K | 2623 | SNM | SONM (BEP-20) | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-37% | 88% | 0 | 260K | 2320 | YLD | Yield App |
| 2 |  |
 |
-21% | 0 | 3.35M | 1512 | REV | Revain | |
| 3 |  |
 |
-16% | 71% | 0.03 | 17.3M | 1053 | AE | Æternity |
| 4 |  |
 |
-14% | 99% | 0.22 | 220M | 258 | BITCOIN | HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20) |
| 5 |  |
 |
-13% | 0.05 | 51.8M | 898 | AVINOC | AVINOC | |
| 6 |  |
 |
-13% | 0 | 31.6M | 762 | FUN | FUNToken | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-13% | 76% | 0.04 | 39.4M | 779 | XWC | WhiteCoin |
| 8 |  |
 |
-12% | 0.08 | 79.6M | 497 | CLV | CLV | |
| 9 |  |
 |
-11% | 0 | 46M | 651 | KISHU | Kishu Inu | |
| 10 |  |
 |
-11% | 0.33 | 102M | 444 | SCRT | Secret | |
| 11 |  |
 |
-11% | 0 | 476K | 2120 | DREP | Drep [new] | |
| 12 |  |
 |
-10% | 0.01 | 61.1M | 638 | SAMO | Samoyedcoin | |
| 13 |  |
 |
-10% | 0.08 | 97.3M | 442 | ACA | Acala Token | |
| 14 |  |
 |
-9% | 63% | 0 | 16.1M | 1116 | BAD | Bad Idea AI |
| 15 |  |
 |
-9% | 33% | 0.93 | 112M | 706 | SD | Stader |
| 16 |  |
 |
-9% | 0.22 | 11M | 1092 | VXV | Vectorspace AI | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-9% | 3.88 | 6.92B | 35 | OM | MANTRA | |
| 18 |  |
 |
-9% | 27% | 0 | 49M | 1021 | NEXA | Nexa |
| 19 |  |
 |
-9% | 66% | 0.23 | 116M | 507 | GODS | Gods Unchained |
| 20 |  |
 |
-9% | 2% | 0.01 | 7.18M | 2338 | GF | GuildFi |
| 21 |  |
 |
-9% | 0.05 | 48M | 631 | DNT | district0x | |
| 22 |  |
 |
-8% | 0.05 | 50.8M | 742 | MDT | Measurable Data Token | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-8% | 90% | 0.27 | 2.67M | 1616 | RMRK | RMRK |
| 24 |  |
 |
-8% | 0.01 | 16.7M | 1060 | OPEN | Open Custody Protocol | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-7% | 100% | 0 | 2.82M | 1571 | TABOO | TABOO TOKEN |
| 26 |  |
 |
-7% | 30% | 0.01 | 871K | 2287 | HSF | Hillstone Finance |
| 27 |  |
 |
-6% | 0 | 3.3M | 4756 | CQT | Covalent | |
| 28 |  |
 |
-6% | 86% | 0.12 | 122M | 416 | 0x0 | 0x0.ai |
The crypto market is a cruel mistress, but at least it provides endless entertainment. So, buckle up, buttercup, because this rollercoaster ain’t stopping anytime soon. Remember: buy the dip (and also the rip), just like Michael Saylor. What could possibly go wrong?