- BUSD (BUSD)
- $1.0: ⭐⭐⭐
- BUSD: The stablecoin equivalent of a participation trophy. It exists, but does anyone really care? I mean, 1.00 is not exactly setting the world on fire. It’s so stable, it makes watching paint dry look like a rave. Unless Trump decides to issue his own ‘TrumpBucks’ stablecoin pegged to the price of hamberders, BUSD is likely to remain…underwhelming.
- TUSD (TrueUSD)
- $1.0: ⭐⭐
- TUSD: Another stablecoin contender trying to convince us it’s the real deal. Newsflash: it’s not. With a name like ‘TrueUSD’, you’d think it would have at least a sliver of personality, or, you know, do something interesting. But nope, it’s just as bland as its brethren. My prediction? TUSD will soon be known as ‘SnoozeUSD’.
- BTCB (Bitcoin BEP2)
- $91668.12: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- BTCB: If Bitcoin were a superhero, BTCB would be its slightly less cool sidekick. It’s Bitcoin on the Binance Smart Chain, which is like getting a slightly off-brand version of your favorite cereal. It tastes almost the same, but something feels…different. But hey, at $91668.12, who’s complaining? Michael Saylor certainly isn’t.
- HBAR (Hedera)
- $0.14: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- HBAR: It exists. I think? Seriously, while the crypto world is burning with news about Saylor’s Bitcoin bender, HBAR is just kinda…there. Like that awkward friend at a party nobody really wants to talk to. But with a fully diluted market cap over $6 billion, HBAR is clearly doing something right. I’m just not sure what it is.
- CRO (Cronos)
- $0.17: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- CRO: Taking a 10% nosedive like a drunken pigeon. It’s like that one friend who always peaks too early at the party. At $0.17, CRO is about as exciting as microwaved leftovers. It’s time to bring this coin some life, maybe a celebrity endorsement? TrumpCoin x Cronos? Now that would be a crossover for the ages.
Hold on to your hats, folks, because the crypto market is wilder than Trump’s hair in a hurricane. While our boy Saylor is busy buying up enough Bitcoin to build a digital fortress (51,780 BTC to be exact, for a cool $4.6 billion), Trump is reportedly trying to ‘relax’ self-driving car regulations, probably after a joyride in a Tesla with Elon Musk navigating via Twitter. One thing’s for sure: while some are putting on life insurance, others are buying puts on life insurance companies… it’s the circle of life in the crypto jungle.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
1 | 68.3M | 533 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 1 |  |
 |
1 | 495M | 143 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 2 |  |
 |
1.19 | 1.19B | 79 | LDO | Lido DAO | ||
| 3 |  |
 |
-1% | 81% | 87.64 | 1.3B | 81 | QNT | Quant |
| 4 |  |
 |
87% | 1488.95 | 1.5B | 70 | MKR | Maker | |
| 5 |  |
 |
+3% | 6.48 | 2.53B | 44 | ATOM | Cosmos | |
| 6 |  |
 |
-1% | 93% | 0.03 | 2.78B | 43 | VET | VeChain |
| 7 |  |
 |
+1% | 158.1 | 2.92B | 38 | XMR | Monero | |
| 8 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.43 | 4.34B | 84 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 9 |  |
 |
54% | 0.73 | 4.53B | 47 | MNT | Mantle | |
| 10 |  |
 |
9.31 | 4.89B | 29 | ICP | Internet Computer | ||
| 11 |  |
 |
-10% | 0.17 | 5B | 28 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 12 |  |
 |
1 | 5.36B | 25 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 13 |  |
 |
-1% | 71% | 26.24 | 5.53B | 31 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 14 |  |
 |
91668.1 | 5.99B | 9913 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | ||
| 15 |  |
 |
+17% | 0.14 | 6.82B | 9992 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 16 |  |
 |
+17% | 75% | 0.14 | 6.83B | 26 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 17 |  |
 |
0.7 | 6.98B | 39 | ARB | Arbitrum | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
5.87 | 7.16B | 20 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | ||
| 19 |  |
 |
+1% | 29% | 1.74 | 7.49B | 52 | OP | Optimism |
| 20 |  |
 |
-2% | 89% | 89.6 | 7.53B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin |
| 21 |  |
 |
7.83 | 7.71B | 19 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | ||
| 22 |  |
 |
-3% | 4.43 | 8.68B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 23 |  |
 |
5.81 | 8.83B | 17 | DOT | Polkadot | ||
| 24 |  |
 |
94% | 450.06 | 9.45B | 16 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+1% | 9.22 | 9.22B | 24 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-10% | 59% | 0.23 | 11.3B | 21 | XLM | Stellar |
| 27 |  |
 |
-1% | 11.73 | 13.2B | 23 | APT | Aptos | |
| 28 |  |
 |
-1% | 44.18 | 13.3B | 42 | OKB | OKB |
So, there you have it. The crypto market: a chaotic playground of volatile valuations, questionable decisions, and occasional bursts of pure, unadulterated brilliance (or is it just luck? Nobody knows!). One thing’s for sure: if you’re not entertained, you’re not paying attention. And if you’re not paying attention, you’re probably about to get rekt. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy some puts on common sense. It’s clearly overvalued.