- LINK (Chainlink)
- $14.49: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- LINK, the oracle of oracles, seems to have mispredicted its own future, down 2%. Is it still chained to Bitcoin’s destiny? Asking for a friend… who lost their life savings.
- APT (Aptos)
- $11.55: ⭐⭐
- Aptos, the new kid on the blockchain, already lost 12% in 24 hours. Welcome to the crypto jungle, kid. Remember that guy who bought one tomato and kept using the seeds to plant a billion tomatoes? Someone alert Saylor.
- ADA (Cardano)
- $0.78: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Cardano, the blockchain promising a peer-reviewed utopia, saw a -7% dip. Apparently, even science can’t protect you from the bears. At least it’s up 34% over 7 days! Is the flippening finally happening?
- QNT (Quant)
- $87.27: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Quant, up a whopping 38% over 7 days. Looks like someone quantified their way to the moon, while the rest of the market plays in the mud. Still down 1% in the last 24 hours! Never mind…
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.38: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Dogecoin, the meme coin that refuses to die. Down 2%. Such wow. Much sad. Next stop, zero… or maybe a dollar? Who let the Doge out?
While Target shoppers are busy pretending to be middle class (apparently Target isn’t actually a discounter, who knew?), the crypto market decided to host its own discount sale. Chainlink (LINK), a project ironically named after connecting things, seems to have lost its link to the moon. Looks like Saylor’s Bitcoin-fueled MSTR rocket might be sputtering a bit too. Will ETH ever catch BTC? More importantly, will anyone ever unlock the deodorant at Target?
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-12% | 11.55 | 13B | 23 | APT | Aptos | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-7% | 77% | 0.78 | 34.9B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 2 |  |
 |
-7% | 6.08 | 2.38B | 46 | ATOM | Cosmos | |
| 3 |  |
 |
-7% | 5.62 | 8.55B | 17 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 4 |  |
 |
-6% | 5.44 | 6.65B | 22 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 5 |  |
 |
-6% | 29% | 1.68 | 7.2B | 51 | OP | Optimism |
| 6 |  |
 |
-5% | 1.11 | 1.11B | 81 | LDO | Lido DAO | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-4% | 57% | 33.86 | 24.2B | 13 | AVAX | Avalanche |
| 8 |  |
 |
-4% | 8.78 | 8.78B | 25 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 9 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.17 | 5.24B | 26 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 10 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.43 | 4.33B | 80 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 11 |  |
 |
-3% | 8.95 | 4.71B | 28 | ICP | Internet Computer | |
| 12 |  |
 |
-3% | 93% | 0.03 | 2.72B | 44 | VET | VeChain |
| 13 |  |
 |
-2% | 0 | 14.1B | 11 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 14 |  |
 |
-2% | 14.49 | 14.5B | 16 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 15 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.38 | 56.1B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 16 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.69 | 6.93B | 40 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-1% | 81% | 87.27 | 1.3B | 75 | QNT | Quant |
| 18 |  |
 |
610.33 | 87.9B | 5 | BNB | BNB | ||
| 19 |  |
 |
0.12 | 6.15B | 10048 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | ||
| 20 |  |
 |
-1% | 75% | 0.12 | 6.14B | 27 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 21 |  |
 |
0.2 | 17.1B | 10 | TRX | TRON | ||
| 22 |  |
 |
1 | 68.3M | 528 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 23 |  |
 |
1 | 132B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 24 |  |
 |
1 | 37.8B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 25 |  |
 |
1 | 496M | 134 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 26 |  |
 |
3128.16 | 30.6B | 9962 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | ||
| 27 |  |
 |
1 | 5.37B | 24 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 28 |  |
 |
4.46 | 8.74B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin |
So, the crypto market is basically the ‘Hunger Games’ of finance right now. May the odds be ever in your favor…or not, because let’s be real, most of us are probably getting voted off the island. In the meantime, I’m going to go buy some Bitcoin with my Target credit card… which has coincidentally been stolen, but the thief isn’t spending nearly as much as my wife does, so 🤷♀️.