- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- BONK? More like GONK. Down 7% in 24 hours. This dog-themed coin is barking up the wrong tree. Maybe Saylor can use some of his borrowed billions to pump it?
- ORDI (ORDI)
- $35.73: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- ORDI, ordi, ordi… down 4%. This ordinal inscription is feeling less inscription and more prescription (for anxiety meds). It’s like that expensive gadget you buy at Target that breaks after a week. Buyer’s remorse, anyone?
- FET (Artificial Superintelligence Alliance)
- $1.24: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Artificial Superintelligence? More like Artificial Stupidity, amirite? Down 2% - guess the robots haven’t figured out how to beat the market. Yet. Just wait till they learn about wash trading…
While Target’s stock is diving faster than a Bitcoin miner in a bear market (down 20%!), Nvidia’s revenue is mooning like a shitcoin on Dogefather’s tweet. But what about our beloved digital assets? Let’s dive in, shall we? (Spoiler: It’s a jungle out there.) Also, MicroStrategy’s Saylor is at it again, borrowing $2.6 BILLION at 0% interest to buy more Bitcoin. Is he a genius or a gambler? The WSB crowd is divided, just like my wife and I are on Target’s return policy.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-7% | 80% | 0 | 4.74B | 30 | BONK | Bonk |
| 1 |  |
 |
+18% | 0.11 | 105M | 404 | CLV | CLV | |
| 2 |  |
 |
-2% | 89% | 1.24 | 3.38B | 37 | FET | Artificial Superintelligence Alliance |
| 3 |  |
 |
-4% | 100% | 35.73 | 750M | 108 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 4 |  |
 |
+2% | 22% | 2.04 | 2.04B | 145 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 5 |  |
 |
-9% | 3.59 | 6.41B | 35 | OM | MANTRA | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.08 | 93.6M | 436 | ACA | Acala Token | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.06 | 299M | 188 | PEOPLE | ConstitutionDAO | |
| 8 |  |
 |
-9% | 98% | 0.02 | 992M | 83 | JASMY | JasmyCoin |
| 9 |  |
 |
+2% | 5.54 | 3.08B | 60 | RAY | Raydium | |
| 10 |  |
 |
+41% | 0.01 | 54.2M | 638 | TROY | TROY | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+28% | 82% | 0.01 | 245M | 262 | DGB | DigiByte |
| 12 |  |
 |
+14% | 66% | 0.83 | 500M | 175 | CTC | Creditcoin |
| 13 |  |
 |
+1% | 84% | 0.43 | 425M | 164 | ZRX | 0x Protocol |
| 14 |  |
 |
-4% | 98% | 0.01 | 80.9M | 490 | STMX | StormX |
| 15 |  |
 |
-1% | 4.93 | 1.27B | 100 | PENDLE | Pendle | |
| 16 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.31 | 341M | 194 | POLYX | Polymesh | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-3% | 38% | 0.48 | 477M | 284 | YGG | Yield Guild Games |
| 18 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.01 | 582M | 125 | CKB | Nervos Network | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-5% | 49% | 0.02 | 400M | 269 | SUN | Sun [New] |
| 20 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.74 | 207M | 273 | SUSHI | SushiSwap | |
| 21 |  |
 |
-5% | 63.71 | 172M | 307 | TRB | Tellor | |
| 22 |  |
 |
40% | 1 | 401M | 311 | LSK | Lisk | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+4% | 94% | 1.2 | 120M | 380 | LQTY | Liquity |
| 24 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.01 | 337M | 172 | SC | Siacoin | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-24% | 99% | 0.03 | 51M | 607 | NCT | PolySwarm |
| 26 |  |
 |
79% | 0.05 | 329M | 236 | SKL | SKALE | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-2% | 43% | 0.92 | 1.94B | 97 | CORE | Core |
| 28 |  |
 |
-2% | 17.67 | 209M | 260 | SSV | ssv.network |
So, there you have it, folks. The crypto market - a chaotic symphony of greed, fear, and memes. It’s a casino where the house always wins… unless Saylor keeps playing. My advice? Invest in popcorn. You’ll need it.