- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- Bonk? More like ‘Boink’ - this coin’s price is flatter than my grandma’s pancakes after they’ve been under a stack of encyclopedias for a week. Over $1 billion in trading volume, though? Someone’s clearly having a laugh.
- ORDI (ORDI)
- $40.89: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- With a price of $40.89, this one isn’t a top performer today. I’m not sure who started this whole Ordinals craze on Bitcoin, but now even the WSB regards are calling MicroStrategy ‘regarded’ for betting so heavily on Bitcoin and its future
- GAS (Gas)
- $5.94: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- This coin’s price is up 8%, proving that even in the digital world, everyone needs to pay for gas. Maybe it’s fueling the spaceships headed to Mars (or at least to the next bull run).
- ELF (aelf)
- $0.65: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Aelf is making a run for Santa’s sleigh with a 44% jump in 24 hours! At this rate, it might just deliver presents to everyone who bought the dip, and leave coal for those who panicked sold.
- LUNA (Terra)
- $0.50: ⭐⭐⭐
- Ah, LUNA, back from the grave! Just kidding, this isn’t that Luna. But with a 5% dip, maybe stick to shouting at Michael Saylor on X instead of buying this one.
While some WSB degens are going head-to-head with million-dollar bets on MicroStrategy (MSTR), the wider crypto market is a battlefield of its own. Bitcoin flirted with $100k, sending shockwaves through the plebs, while whales, like majestic, unbothered creatures, scooped up $107 million worth of BTC. Meanwhile, the rumor mill is churning about Apple potentially tapping Intel for chip production in 2026. Will Intel rise from the ashes like a silicon phoenix? Or is this just another WSB pump-and-dump saga waiting to happen? One thing’s for sure, crypto never sleeps, and neither do the regards.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
81% | 0 | 4.35B | 35 | BONK | Bonk | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-1% | 89% | 1.51 | 4.1B | 34 | FET | Artificial Superintelligence Alliance |
| 2 |  |
 |
98% | 0.03 | 1.27B | 83 | JASMY | JasmyCoin | |
| 3 |  |
 |
-1% | 100% | 40.89 | 859M | 107 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 4 |  |
 |
+8% | 5.94 | 386M | 180 | GAS | Gas | |
| 5 |  |
 |
+22% | 0.12 | 121M | 410 | OXT | Orchid | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+44% | 73% | 0.65 | 648M | 157 | ELF | aelf |
| 7 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.06 | 324M | 198 | PEOPLE | ConstitutionDAO | |
| 8 |  |
 |
39% | 0.64 | 644M | 258 | YGG | Yield Guild Games | |
| 9 |  |
 |
-2% | 22% | 2.2 | 2.2B | 149 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 10 |  |
 |
+2% | 1.14 | 316M | 242 | SUSHI | SushiSwap | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+4% | 0.02 | 695M | 123 | CKB | Nervos Network | |
| 12 |  |
 |
-6% | 0.02 | 352M | 190 | ONE | Harmony | |
| 13 |  |
 |
0.54 | 186M | 358 | MAGIC | Treasure | ||
| 14 |  |
 |
3.69 | 6.6B | 42 | OM | MANTRA | ||
| 15 |  |
 |
+6% | 6.46 | 3.58B | 62 | RAY | Raydium | |
| 16 |  |
 |
-3% | 84% | 0.5 | 504M | 170 | ZRX | 0x Protocol |
| 17 |  |
 |
-5% | 0.5 | 592M | 188 | LUNA | Terra | |
| 18 |  |
 |
-1% | 5.44 | 1.41B | 103 | PENDLE | Pendle | |
| 19 |  |
 |
53.45 | 461M | 245 | ILV | Illuvium | ||
| 20 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.67 | 124M | 398 | ARK | Ark | |
| 21 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.15 | 176M | 332 | BORA | BORA | |
| 22 |  |
 |
0.6 | 255M | 272 | STORJ | Storj | ||
| 23 |  |
 |
+6% | 0.16 | 161M | 330 | CVC | Civic | |
| 24 |  |
 |
-1% | 72.96 | 197M | 304 | TRB | Tellor | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-5% | 94% | 0.04 | 448M | 171 | IOTX | IoTeX |
| 26 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.31 | 307M | 321 | POWR | Powerledger | |
| 27 |  |
 |
+2% | 0 | 46.7M | 711 | TROY | TROY | |
| 28 |  |
 |
0.35 | 388M | 199 | POLYX | Polymesh |
The crypto market today is a mixed bag of nuts – some are cashews, some are those weird, shriveled peanuts at the bottom of the bag. But hey, at least it’s entertaining. So grab your popcorn, place your bets, and remember: never invest more than you can afford to lose (unless you’re a whale, then go wild). Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy some more popcorn while everyone here watches this MSTR $1,000,000 long vs short battle of the regards.