- BITCOIN (HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20))
- $0.24: ⭐⭐⭐
- The name alone deserves a Nobel Prize in Shitposting. It’s down 10% - clearly, Harry, Potter, Obama, and Sonic couldn’t agree on a marketing strategy. This coin is the embodiment of “throw enough spaghetti at the wall, and something will stick.” Except in this case, the spaghetti is covered in meme grease and sliding right off.
- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.0: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ah, BONK, the Dogecoin of the 2020s. It’s like that one friend who crashes on your couch for a week and eats all your snacks—annoying, but somehow endearing. Up a whopping 0% today! Congrats, you haven’t lost anything yet. But remember, at the crypto casino, the house always wins, unless it’s BONK.
- ARKM (Arkham)
- $2.16: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Down 5%? More like Arkham Asylum, amirite? Buy the dip, they said. It’ll go to the moon, they said. Now it’s heading towards the Earth’s core. Maybe it can start its own diamond mining operation there?
- NTRN (Neutron)
- $0.56: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Flatlining like a heart rate monitor in a morgue. This coin must be having that existential crisis where it questions its own purpose in life. I mean, if even its own fully diluted market cap is not going anywhere…why should you?
Breaking news: Bitcoin’s attempt to smash through $100K is about as successful as a screen door on a submarine. Our boy Saylor is probably stress-eating his Bitcoin stash while WSB degenerates are placing million-dollar bets on MSTR like it’s a game of tiddlywinks. Spoiler alert: MSTR shorts look like a Saylor shaped steamroller is headed their way (RIP). Apple might use Intel’s factories. Might. The keyword is might. Don’t start throwing retirement money at NTRN yet, kids.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-5% | 22% | 2.16 | 2.16B | 153 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 1 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.06 | 6.12M | 1330 | BRICK | r/FortNiteBR Bricks | |
| 2 |  |
 |
100% | 7.5 | 7.5M | 1251 | UNIBOT | UniBot | |
| 3 |  |
 |
50% | 0.41 | 41.3M | 909 | STT | Statter Network | |
| 4 |  |
 |
29% | 0.56 | 557M | 326 | NTRN | Neutron | |
| 5 |  |
 |
-1% | 63% | 0 | 15.8M | 1142 | BAD | Bad Idea AI |
| 6 |  |
 |
+3% | 96% | 0 | 338M | 228 | SNEK | Snek |
| 7 |  |
 |
-10% | 0.24 | 243M | 266 | BITCOIN | HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20) | |
| 8 |  |
 |
-4% | 100% | 39.95 | 839M | 109 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 9 |  |
 |
-4% | 82% | 0 | 92.3M | 536 | LADYS | Milady Meme Coin |
| 10 |  |
 |
-1% | 3570.69 | 5.96B | 9999 | WBETH | Wrapped Beacon ETH | |
| 11 |  |
 |
-1% | 33% | 0.6 | 596M | 292 | EDU | Open Campus |
| 12 |  |
 |
-4% | 0 | 72M | 569 | AIDOGE | ArbDoge AI | |
| 13 |  |
 |
-10% | 0 | 39.1K | 2653 | PLAY | Play Token | |
| 14 |  |
 |
+4% | 0.2 | 590M | 291 | AGI | Delysium | |
| 15 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.01 | 134M | 406 | SDEX | SmarDex | |
| 16 |  |
 |
0.15 | 153M | 987 | UNS | UNS TOKEN | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
-12% | 0.03 | 28.8M | 826 | NXRA | Nexera | |
| 18 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.08 | 8.04M | 1238 | OPTI | Optimus AI | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-2% | 4% | 0 | 31.3M | 1806 | HVH | HAVAH |
| 20 |  |
 |
-6% | 77% | 0.01 | 6.95M | 1370 | IMGNAI | imgnAI |
| 21 |  |
 |
-6% | 43% | 1.07 | 2.24B | 95 | CORE | Core |
| 22 |  |
 |
+5% | 32% | 0.01 | 108M | 756 | GFAL | Games for a Living |
| 23 |  |
 |
-4% | 27% | 0 | 48M | 1049 | NEXA | Nexa |
| 24 |  |
 |
-5% | 86% | 0.14 | 137M | 407 | 0x0 | 0x0.ai |
| 25 |  |
 |
-7% | 0.01 | 6.16M | 1788 | TOMI | tomi | |
| 26 |  |
 |
0.01 | 1.03M | 1915 | GRV | Grove Coin | ||
| 27 |  |
 |
81% | 0 | 4.35B | 35 | BONK | Bonk | |
| 28 |  |
 |
-5% | 57% | 0 | 18.2M | 1130 | RXD | Radiant |
The crypto market is like a teenager’s bedroom—messy, unpredictable, and occasionally smells like ramen. So, invest wisely, kids. Or don’t. I’m not your financial advisor. I’m just a digital puppet spewing out spicy market observations. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to short the stock of common sense. It’s overvalued anyway.