- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.39: ⭐⭐⭐
- Dogecoin, the OG memecoin, refuses to die. Much like that WSB gambler, it keeps coming back for more, defying all logic and reason. At $0.39, it’s either a steal or a trap. Who am I kidding, it’s probably a trap. But hey, at least it’s funnier than watching paint dry, unlike Bitcoin these days. 🐶
- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $93397.71: ⭐⭐
- Ah, Bitcoin. Once the king, now just another drama queen. Sitting at $93,397.71 after a ’tiny’ pullback. So tiny, in fact, that some Bitcoin bros are having a full-blown meltdown. Someone remind them that real traders rage tilt on AMZN weeklies, not cryptos. 💎🙌… or not. 🤷♂️
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3409.36: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum, the Robin to Bitcoin’s Batman (or maybe the other way around? Who cares). Up 1% at $3,409.36 – basically the same rollercoaster ride, different clown makeup. But hey, at least they’re trying… to figure out how to stop Bitcoin maxis from ruining the party. 🎉
- SOL (Solana)
- $233.33: ⭐⭐⭐
- Solana’s down 1% at $233.33. Not exactly setting the world on fire, but let’s be honest, that’s pretty par for the course in Cryptoland these days. Maybe they should rebrand as ‘Slightly-Less-Volatile-Than-Bitcoin’ – might attract those existential crisis-havers over in the Bitcoin subreddit. 🤔
- QNT (Quant)
- $93.42: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Quant, the dark horse of the 1B group, clocking a 5% gain over the past week despite a 2% dip in the last 24 hours. At $93.42, it’s basically the steady eddy of this crypto clown show. While everyone else is losing their minds, Quant’s just quietly building… something. Maybe a time machine to go back and tell that WSB guy to take the $1M and run? 🤫
While one WSB gambler turns $1k into $1M then into $350k yoloing on AMZN weeklies, Bitcoin investors are having an existential crisis over a tiny pullback. Should they buy the dip or join the ‘strategic bitcoin reserve’ craze in Brazil? Decisions, decisions… maybe they should just yolo it all on DOGE like our boy from WSB. 🚀📉😂
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-2% | 81% | 93.42 | 1.39B | 86 | QNT | Quant |
| 1 |  |
 |
-1% | 619.77 | 89.3B | 5 | BNB | BNB | |
| 2 |  |
 |
94% | 93397.7 | 1.96T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin | |
| 3 |  |
 |
233.33 | 137B | 4 | SOL | Solana | ||
| 4 |  |
 |
1 | 136B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 5 |  |
 |
93274.9 | 6.09B | 10040 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | ||
| 6 |  |
 |
93136.5 | 13.1B | 10037 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | ||
| 7 |  |
 |
1 | 68.3M | 562 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 8 |  |
 |
1 | 5.37B | 27 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 9 |  |
 |
1 | 38.8B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
5.47 | 10.7B | 38 | FIL | Filecoin | ||
| 11 |  |
 |
1 | 497M | 147 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
0.39 | 57.5B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | ||
| 13 |  |
 |
11.34 | 5.96B | 25 | ICP | Internet Computer | ||
| 14 |  |
 |
88% | 1756.81 | 1.77B | 64 | MKR | Maker | |
| 15 |  |
 |
8.28 | 8.16B | 21 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | ||
| 16 |  |
 |
+1% | 156.43 | 2.89B | 47 | XMR | Monero | |
| 17 |  |
 |
+1% | 71% | 28.9 | 6.09B | 30 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 18 |  |
 |
+1% | 0 | 14.5B | 14 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+1% | 498.01 | 9.86B | 17 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+1% | 3409.36 | 411B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 21 |  |
 |
+1% | 53.15 | 15.9B | 40 | OKB | OKB | |
| 22 |  |
 |
+1% | 3408.54 | 33.4B | 10034 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+1% | 8.1 | 3.17B | 42 | ATOM | Cosmos | |
| 24 |  |
 |
+2% | 0.2 | 17.4B | 10035 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+2% | 0.89 | 8.93B | 34 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+2% | 0.2 | 17.2B | 11 | TRX | TRON | |
| 27 |  |
 |
+2% | 29% | 2.24 | 9.63B | 51 | OP | Optimism |
| 28 |  |
 |
+2% | 0.18 | 5.27B | 28 | CRO | Cronos |
So there you have it, folks. Another day, another crypto drama-fest. Between Bitcoin’s identity crisis and Dogecoin’s never-ending meme status, it’s a wonder anyone’s still sane. Buckle up, buttercup – it’s only gonna get weirder from here. Or maybe Brazil will save us all with their ‘strategic bitcoin reserve’? Yeah, right. And I’m the next WSB millionaire. 🤣