- LINK (Chainlink)
- $18.33: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- LINK’s up, but so is my skepticism. This oracle darling could be the next big thing, or it could be the next rug pull. Remember, folks, in the crypto casino, the house always wins… eventually. At least it’s not Shiba Inu. Yet.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3643.43: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- The OG smart contract platform is still flexing, even if its 24-hour gain is a measly 9%. Ethereum’s like that reliable grandpa who still goes to the gym - not flashy, but always gets the job done. Unlike our WSB gambler, Ethereum isn’t about to blow it all on weekly options. It’s playing the long game, and so should you.
- XLM (Stellar)
- $0.49: ⭐⭐⭐
- Stellar’s had a triple-digit pump this week, but I’m not sold. It’s the crypto equivalent of that one friend who always talks big but never quite delivers. Still, at this price, it’s cheaper than a cup of coffee in some places, so maybe it’s worth a gamble. Just don’t bet the farm, especially if you’re thinking “clearly” after losing $700k like our WSB hero.
- UNI (Uniswap)
- $12.65: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Uniswap’s another one to watch, with a 45% 7-day pump. It’s the cool kid on the DeFi block, but even cool kids can have a bad day. Remember, even Bitcoin had its awkward teenage years. Speaking of Bitcoin, someone on r/Bitcoin thinks we’re in the middle of a “huge Bitcoin erection.” Make of that what you will.
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.42: ⭐⭐
- Ah, Dogecoin. The meme coin that refuses to die. It’s like that one-hit wonder that still gets played at weddings. Sure, it’s nostalgic, but let’s be real, it’s not exactly topping the charts anymore. Even with an 8% pump today, it’s not reaching the moon. Also, side note: I hear Brazil might start stockpiling Bitcoin like it’s the apocalypse. Good luck with that.
Chainlink (LINK) is strutting its stuff with a price of $18.33, up 7% in 24 hours. But hold your horses, folks - this ain’t no sure thing. Remember that WSB gambler who turned $1k into $1M, then down to $350k in a blink? Yeah, crypto can be like that. One minute you’re king of the hill, the next you’re begging for fries. Speaking of fries, maybe our boy on WSB should’ve cashed out at $1M and bought a lifetime supply instead of going all-in on AMZN weeklies. Oh, and apparently Tesla might be excluded from California EV tax credits. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it, Elon?
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+14% | 12.65 | 12.6B | 22 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 1 |  |
 |
+13% | 71% | 32.02 | 6.75B | 28 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 2 |  |
 |
+13% | 60% | 0.49 | 24.5B | 14 | XLM | Stellar |
| 3 |  |
 |
+11% | 29% | 2.43 | 10.4B | 46 | OP | Optimism |
| 4 |  |
 |
+9% | 0.94 | 9.42B | 33 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 5 |  |
 |
+9% | 3643.43 | 439B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+9% | 3637.2 | 35.6B | 10041 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+9% | 5.81 | 11.4B | 37 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 8 |  |
 |
+8% | 0.57 | 5.67B | 79 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 9 |  |
 |
+8% | 12.9 | 14.6B | 24 | APT | Aptos | |
| 10 |  |
 |
+8% | 77% | 1.02 | 46.1B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 11 |  |
 |
+8% | 54% | 0.88 | 5.48B | 48 | MNT | Mantle |
| 12 |  |
 |
+8% | 0.42 | 61.6B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+8% | 0 | 15.5B | 13 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 14 |  |
 |
+7% | 56% | 1.48 | 148B | 6 | XRP | XRP |
| 15 |  |
 |
+7% | 18.33 | 18.3B | 16 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 16 |  |
 |
+6% | 88% | 1855.06 | 1.87B | 64 | MKR | Maker |
| 17 |  |
 |
+6% | 1.75 | 1.75B | 66 | LDO | Lido DAO | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+6% | 651.88 | 93.9B | 5 | BNB | BNB | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+6% | 244.42 | 144B | 4 | SOL | Solana | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+5% | 518.86 | 10.3B | 17 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 21 |  |
 |
+5% | 8.3 | 3.25B | 42 | ATOM | Cosmos | |
| 22 |  |
 |
+5% | 54.99 | 16.5B | 41 | OKB | OKB | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+5% | 89% | 97.83 | 8.22B | 23 | LTC | Litecoin |
| 24 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.18 | 5.38B | 29 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+5% | 8.43 | 12.8B | 15 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+5% | 93% | 0.04 | 3.69B | 39 | VET | VeChain |
| 27 |  |
 |
+4% | 76% | 0.14 | 7.09B | 26 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 28 |  |
 |
+4% | 6.79 | 8.3B | 20 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol |
So, the crypto market is basically a chaotic mix of FOMO, YOLO, and HODL. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, and right now, it feels like we’re at the top of the first hill. Are we going to plummet to our doom, or soar to new heights? Your guess is as good as mine. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to buy some AMZN calls and see if I can beat our WSB friend to the poorhouse. JK… mostly.