- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.41: ⭐⭐⭐
- Dogecoin, the OG meme coin, somehow refuses to die. Up 5% in 24 hours! Much wow. Such resilience. Is this a sign of its surprising strength, or just a dead cat bounce? Place your bets, folks, because this rollercoaster is far from over. Remember, folks, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
- LINK (Chainlink)
- $17.80: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Chainlink, the oracle of the blockchain, saw a 16% pump this week. Is it finally connecting to real-world value or just whispering sweet nothings to desperate investors? Time will tell if this is the beginning of a bull run or just another temporary high. One thing’s for sure, this isn’t the time to check your portfolio with friends, unless you enjoy awkward silences.
- UNI (Uniswap)
- $12.69: ⭐⭐
- Uniswap, the decentralized exchange darling, took a -1% dip in the last 24 hours, but boasts a 34% gain over the past week. Is this the start of a comeback or just a temporary reprieve from its downward spiral? Like that one friend who swears they’re “almost there” financially, but still lives with their parents, Uniswap is showing glimmers of hope, but a lot of uncertainty remains. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $96351.89: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Bitcoin, the grandpa of crypto, is up 1% in the last 24 hours, like a stubborn old man refusing to use a walker. Even with El Salvador and Russia’s questionable endorsements, it still commands respect, if not outright fear. This is less of a gamble and more of an existential crisis. Will the king stay on his throne, or will the challengers finally dethrone him? Only time will tell.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3572.54: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum, the silver-haired prince, continues its shadow dance with Bitcoin. A 6% weekly gain suggests it might not be ready to hand over the crown just yet. Ethereum continues its “will they, won’t they?” relationship with the flippening. Maybe it’s just waiting for Bitcoin to take a nap before making its move.
Russia treating Bitcoin as property and exempting it from VAT is like giving a toddler a chainsaw. Will they build a magnificent ice sculpture or just lose a few limbs? This news has the Bitcoin maxis chanting “HODL” louder, probably to drown out their inner doubts. Meanwhile, El Salvador continues its daily Bitcoin DCA strategy, making them the ultimate HODLers. Are they geniuses or just stubbornly refusing to admit they bought high? Time will tell if their Bitcoin stash becomes a national treasure or a national embarrassment. Speaking of questionable decisions, let’s dive into some cryptos clinging to life in the 1B group.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-1% | 12.69 | 12.7B | 22 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.91 | 9.05B | 35 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 2 |  |
 |
-1% | 71% | 31.39 | 6.61B | 30 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 3 |  |
 |
-1% | 29% | 2.34 | 10B | 48 | OP | Optimism |
| 4 |  |
 |
-1% | 52.76 | 15.8B | 44 | OKB | OKB | |
| 5 |  |
 |
-1% | 156.78 | 2.89B | 51 | XMR | Monero | |
| 6 |  |
 |
-1% | 88% | 1808.3 | 1.82B | 65 | MKR | Maker |
| 7 |  |
 |
-1% | 3572.29 | 35B | 10071 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 8 |  |
 |
-1% | 17.8 | 17.8B | 16 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 9 |  |
 |
-1% | 3572.54 | 430B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 10 |  |
 |
1.72 | 1.72B | 68 | LDO | Lido DAO | ||
| 11 |  |
 |
653.43 | 94.1B | 5 | BNB | BNB | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
54% | 0.86 | 5.37B | 49 | MNT | Mantle | |
| 13 |  |
 |
503.83 | 9.97B | 17 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | ||
| 14 |  |
 |
1 | 496M | 155 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 15 |  |
 |
1 | 68.3M | 576 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 16 |  |
 |
1 | 136B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
1 | 5.36B | 27 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
1 | 39.4B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 19 |  |
 |
89% | 96.22 | 8.08B | 23 | LTC | Litecoin | |
| 20 |  |
 |
81% | 93.99 | 1.4B | 88 | QNT | Quant | |
| 21 |  |
 |
0.2 | 17.6B | 10072 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | ||
| 22 |  |
 |
11.41 | 6B | 26 | ICP | Internet Computer | ||
| 23 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.2 | 17.4B | 11 | TRX | TRON | |
| 24 |  |
 |
96083.1 | 13.5B | 10074 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | ||
| 25 |  |
 |
+1% | 96293.6 | 6.29B | 10078 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.41 | 60.2B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 27 |  |
 |
+1% | 94% | 96351.9 | 2.02T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin |
| 28 |  |
 |
+1% | 5.72 | 11.2B | 37 | FIL | Filecoin |
The crypto market is like a dysfunctional family Thanksgiving dinner – everyone’s pretending to be happy, but underneath the surface, tensions are brewing. So, should you buy the dip or sell before the whole thing collapses? Honestly, flip a coin. You’ve got a 50/50 chance of being right, which is better than most crypto analysts can say. Remember, in the world of crypto, even the stablecoins aren’t that stable, so buckle up, buttercup, and pray for a market miracle.