- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $95404.75: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Bitcoin, the OG crypto, is down slightly, but don’t worry, the whales are ‘accumulating’ (or hiding, who knows?). This is like watching your grandpa try to learn TikTok - slow, confusing, but somehow still fascinating. With all that money leaving exchanges, someone’s definitely booking something… but probably not a porn star.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3616.98: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum, always the bridesmaid, never the bride, is also down a bit. It’s trying to keep up with Bitcoin, but it’s like a chihuahua trying to race a greyhound. Still, it’s holding its own, for now. Maybe it can at least afford Lauren Phillips if things go south.
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.41: ⭐⭐
- Dogecoin, the meme-coin that refuses to die, is down, but is anyone surprised? This is like that one friend who keeps showing up to parties even though nobody invited them. They’re down bad, but resilient.”
- SOL (Solana)
- $226.92: ⭐⭐⭐
- Solana, once the darling of the crypto world, is down like a lead balloon. Remember when everyone thought it was going to be the ‘Ethereum killer’? Yeah, about that… More like the ‘Ethereum mosquito,’ annoying, but not really a threat.
- SHIB (Shiba Inu)
- $0.00: ⭐
- Shiba Inu, another meme-coin trying to ride Dogecoin’s coattails, is also down. It’s like the younger sibling trying to copy their older brother but failing miserably. At this point, it’s probably cheaper to buy a real Shiba Inu.
While Bitcoin whales are apparently hoarding BTC like it’s the last roll of toilet paper before a zombie apocalypse (over $5.34 billion withdrawn in 72 hours!), some cryptos are feeling the chill. This coincides with the Nasdaq getting ready for a potential Cyber Monday dip, with one WSB trader promising to ‘book a porn star’ if it goes red. Will crypto follow the Nasdaq’s lead? Will our trader’s puts print? Let’s find out!
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-6% | 54% | 0.89 | 5.53B | 49 | MNT | Mantle |
| 1 |  |
 |
-5% | 12.64 | 14.3B | 25 | APT | Aptos | |
| 2 |  |
 |
-4% | 1.72 | 1.72B | 73 | LDO | Lido DAO | |
| 3 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.18 | 5.37B | 29 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 4 |  |
 |
-4% | 226.92 | 134B | 5 | SOL | Solana | |
| 5 |  |
 |
-4% | 6.61 | 8.09B | 23 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 6 |  |
 |
-4% | 6.49 | 33.2B | 13 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-4% | 29% | 2.33 | 10B | 50 | OP | Optimism |
| 8 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.92 | 9.2B | 38 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 9 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.41 | 60.7B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 10 |  |
 |
-3% | 0 | 17.2B | 12 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 11 |  |
 |
-2% | 8.69 | 13.3B | 15 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 12 |  |
 |
-2% | 638.1 | 91.9B | 6 | BNB | BNB | |
| 13 |  |
 |
-2% | 510.94 | 10.1B | 17 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 14 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.59 | 5.85B | 87 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 15 |  |
 |
-2% | 3615.48 | 35.6B | 10108 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 16 |  |
 |
-2% | 3616.98 | 436B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-1% | 88% | 1802.49 | 1.81B | 69 | MKR | Maker |
| 18 |  |
 |
-1% | 95347.4 | 6.23B | 10115 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-1% | 94% | 95404.8 | 2T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin |
| 20 |  |
 |
-1% | 95116.8 | 13.2B | 10111 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | |
| 21 |  |
 |
-1% | 71% | 31.81 | 6.7B | 28 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 22 |  |
 |
0.21 | 17.8B | 11 | TRX | TRON | ||
| 23 |  |
 |
0.21 | 18B | 10109 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | ||
| 24 |  |
 |
6.79 | 13.3B | 34 | FIL | Filecoin | ||
| 25 |  |
 |
12.92 | 12.9B | 24 | UNI | Uniswap | ||
| 26 |  |
 |
1 | 68.3M | 583 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 27 |  |
 |
1 | 5.37B | 27 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 28 |  |
 |
1 | 137B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt |
So, the crypto market is a bit like a WSB trader’s portfolio - volatile, unpredictable, and potentially disastrous. But hey, at least it’s entertaining. Who needs a therapist when you have crypto, right? Just remember, if your portfolio goes red, you might have to become the porn star.