- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $97.5: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Bitcoin is like the cockroach of the financial world - it just won’t die. While the Hawk Tuah girl is tucked away in her bed, Bitcoin whales are busy gobbling up sats. Is this a sign of the apocalypse, or just another Tuesday in the crypto casino? Place your bets, folks.
- SNM (SONM (BEP-20))
- $0.0: ⭐⭐
- With a 117% jump in 24 hours, SNM is the dark horse of the day. It’s like finding a $20 bill in your pocket after doing laundry - a small victory in a sea of despair. But don’t get too excited, it could all be gone tomorrow.
- STRAX (Stratis [Old])
- $0.07: ⭐
- Stratis [Old] is down 17%? More like Stratis [Cold]. This coin is about as lively as a corpse at a funeral. Time to bury it and move on, folks. There are other shitcoins out there begging for your money.
- RGT (Rari Governance Token)
- $0.22: ⭐⭐⭐
- RGT is up 13% - not bad for a coin that most people have probably never heard of. It’s like winning a limbo contest - impressive, but ultimately pointless. Will it last? Probably not. But hey, at least it’s not Hawk Tuah Coin.
- HSF (Hillstone Finance)
- $0.01: ⭐⭐
- Hillstone Finance is down 25%? Ouch. That’s gotta hurt. It’s like getting kicked in the nuts by a kangaroo - unexpected and painful. Time to invest in a good cup.
While Bitcoin flirts with the $100k mark (again!), the altcoin graveyard is overflowing with the decaying corpses of forgotten meme coins. One particularly pungent aroma wafting from the crypt belongs to the Hawk Tuah Coin, which took a nosedive faster than a WSB YOLO on 0DTE SPY puts. The Hawk Tuah girl’s bedtime proclamation during a crypto ‘scam’ interrogation only added fuel to the dumpster fire. It seems even seasoned crypto gamblers are questioning the sanity of anyone who bought a meme coin from the ‘BJ chick.’ Meanwhile, MicroStrategy continues its Bitcoin shopping spree, stacking sats like a squirrel preparing for the crypto winter. Are they geniuses or regards? The jury’s still out. But one thing’s for sure, this market is more entertaining than a cage match between Elon Musk and Michael Saylor.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-17% | 0.07 | 0 | 3334 | STRAX | Stratis [Old] | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-6% | 0 | 126K | 2519 | RFR | Refereum | |
| 2 |  |
 |
+5% | 0 | 135K | 2545 | PLAY | Play Token | |
| 3 |  |
 |
+117% | 0 | 251K | 2389 | SNM | SONM (BEP-20) | |
| 4 |  |
 |
-1% | 79% | 0 | 368K | 2350 | DAWN | Dawn Protocol |
| 5 |  |
 |
+51% | 99% | 0 | 393K | 2281 | MARO | Maro |
| 6 |  |
 |
88% | 0 | 459K | 2267 | YLD | Yield App | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-2% | 0 | 460K | 2234 | DREP | Drep [new] | |
| 8 |  |
 |
-5% | 14% | 0 | 520K | 2604 | PTS | Petals |
| 9 |  |
 |
-25% | 30% | 0.01 | 851K | 2382 | HSF | Hillstone Finance |
| 10 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.01 | 1.12M | 1973 | GRV | Grove Coin | |
| 11 |  |
 |
-16% | 97% | 0.02 | 1.52M | 1865 | WAIT | Hourglass |
| 12 |  |
 |
+2% | 2% | 0 | 1.55M | 2667 | GF | GuildFi |
| 13 |  |
 |
-27% | 0 | 1.73M | 1813 | REV | Revain | |
| 14 |  |
 |
-14% | 69% | 0 | 2.81M | 1784 | TAMA | Tamadoge |
| 15 |  |
 |
-10% | 99% | 0 | 2.07M | 1765 | OOKI | Ooki Protocol |
| 16 |  |
 |
-11% | 54% | 0 | 2.07M | 1957 | SSG | SOMESING |
| 17 |  |
 |
-8% | 49% | 0 | 2.12M | 1981 | STRM | StreamCoin |
| 18 |  |
 |
-20% | 0.03 | 2.18M | 1758 | VEGA | Vega Protocol | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-11% | 0.01 | 2.28M | 1825 | VTS | Veritise | |
| 20 |  |
 |
58% | 0 | 2.43M | 1886 | LYRA | Lyra | |
| 21 |  |
 |
-6% | 65% | 0 | 2.63M | 1816 | RFOX | RFOX |
| 22 |  |
 |
+1% | 79% | 0 | 2.68M | 1752 | FOR | ForTube |
| 23 |  |
 |
+13% | 0.22 | 2.79M | 1660 | RGT | Rari Governance Token | |
| 24 |  |
 |
-5% | 0 | 2.81M | 2169 | THN | Throne | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-13% | 89% | 0.03 | 3.23M | 1645 | WTC | Waltonchain |
| 26 |  |
 |
-4% | 59% | 0 | 5.04M | 1634 | QOM | Shiba Predator |
| 27 |  |
 |
-6% | 52% | 0 | 3.25M | 1818 | WOZX | Efforce |
| 28 |  |
 |
-1% | 92% | 0 | 3.31M | 1626 | BWO | Battle World |
So, there you have it, folks - the crypto market in all its chaotic glory. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, a symphony of scams, and a breeding ground for bad financial decisions. But hey, at least it’s never boring. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go buy some Bitcoin and pray for the moon. Or maybe I’ll just go to bed. Who knows, maybe I’ll wake up a millionaire. Or maybe I’ll just wake up.