- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $100535.11: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Bitcoin’s flexing at over $100k, which makes that “15 BTC for 1 cent” story from Reddit sting extra hard. If anyone has a time machine, I’m calling dibs. Also, it was $100k this year, maybe there’s a pattern?
- LINK (Chainlink)
- $28.84: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Chainlink is up 29% today and still way down compared to Bitcoin. Does anyone have a time machine I can borrow real quick? No more that 1 hour required.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3908.83: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum is proving slow and steady wins the race (except when Bitcoin’s involved). But hey, at least you can still afford a few slices of avocado toast.
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.41: ⭐⭐⭐
- Dogecoin, the coin that laughs in the face of logic. It’s somehow still alive, like a cockroach in a nuclear apocalypse. Much wow.
- SHIB (Shiba Inu)
- $0.0: ⭐⭐
- Shiba Inu: the ultimate underdog story, or the ultimate rug pull? It’s cheaper than dirt, but is it worth the digital real estate?
Looks like someone just made $1.2M on a single options trade. Congrats and f*ck you! Meanwhile, our boy Jack Dorsey is chilling in Kenya, looking like he’s joined a nomadic tribe. Maybe he’s measuring his wealth in Bitcoin now? I can’t tell if it is more insane to make that much on one bet or not get a haircut. Anyway, let’s talk crypto, because clearly, we’re all about to be millionaires.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+3% | 94% | 100535 | 2.11T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin |
| 1 |  |
 |
+6% | 3908.83 | 471B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 2 |  |
 |
+5% | 57% | 2.43 | 243B | 4 | XRP | XRP |
| 3 |  |
 |
1 | 142B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 4 |  |
 |
+5% | 230.43 | 136B | 5 | SOL | Solana | |
| 5 |  |
 |
+5% | 716.02 | 103B | 6 | BNB | BNB | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+6% | 0.41 | 61.1B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+15% | 78% | 1.16 | 52.3B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 8 |  |
 |
1 | 41.5B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 9 |  |
 |
+6% | 3904.68 | 38.4B | 10114 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 10 |  |
 |
+6% | 6.46 | 33.1B | 14 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+29% | 28.84 | 28.8B | 12 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 12 |  |
 |
+8% | 0.29 | 25.8B | 10115 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+8% | 0.29 | 25.3B | 10 | TRX | TRON | |
| 14 |  |
 |
+13% | 57% | 50.22 | 35.9B | 11 | AVAX | Avalanche |
| 15 |  |
 |
+7% | 60% | 0.44 | 22.1B | 17 | XLM | Stellar |
| 16 |  |
 |
+20% | 18.39 | 18.4B | 19 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 17 |  |
 |
+8% | 0 | 17.2B | 13 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+5% | 56.25 | 16.9B | 48 | OKB | OKB | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+19% | 13.87 | 15.7B | 25 | APT | Aptos | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+11% | 76% | 0.31 | 15.5B | 18 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 21 |  |
 |
+10% | 0.31 | 15.5B | 10196 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 22 |  |
 |
+12% | 9.34 | 14.3B | 15 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+3% | 100337 | 13.7B | 10117 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | |
| 24 |  |
 |
+12% | 6.95 | 13.6B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+6% | 94% | 556.64 | 11.7B | 20 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash |
| 26 |  |
 |
+12% | 29% | 2.46 | 10.6B | 53 | OP | Optimism |
| 27 |  |
 |
+14% | 1.06 | 10.6B | 39 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 28 |  |
 |
+11% | 89% | 121.89 | 10.2B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin |
So, the crypto market is basically a casino where the odds are slightly better than Vegas, if 1.7% chance of getting 100x by betting every coin on lows. But hey, at least it’s entertaining. Remember, folks, diamonds hands or regarded, choose your fighter wisely.