- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐
- The name says it all. This coin is about as reliable as my dating life. 12% up in 24 hours? It’s a trap! Like buying Bitcoin for 1 cent and losing your private keys.
- JASMY (JasmyCoin)
- $0.04: ⭐⭐
- JasmyCoin, more like ‘Hasn’t-Made-Me-Rich-Yet’ Coin. 11% gains are cute, but I’ve seen hamsters wheel faster. This coin needs to pump more iron than that anonymous Bitcoin millionaire did prison time.
- SUSHI (SushiSwap)
- $2.54: ⭐⭐⭐
- SushiSwap – tastes better than it performs. Sure, 27% is a spicy gain, but I’m betting this one’s got the staying power of a TikTok trend. Unlike Jack’s laid-back Kenyan attire, this coin needs a serious makeover.
- ORDI (ORDI)
- $37.53: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- ORDI, are you trying to be Bitcoin? Because it’s not working. 37 bucks and an 11% gain? Come back when you’re ready to buy a vowel (and a yacht).
- BabyDoge (Baby Doge Coin)
- $0.00: ⭐
- BabyDoge? More like BabyRage. Even with a 10% jump, this coin’s still worth less than pocket lint. This isn’t a ‘Doge,’ it’s a flea on a Doge’s back.
Remember that guy who bragged about turning $50 into $1M in Bitcoin? Well, today’s 10M club might have a few contenders… or maybe not. While our Bitcoin hero HODLed for 13 majestic years, some of these coins look like they’re HODLing onto dear life. Also, shoutout to Jack Dorsey, spotted in Kenya looking like he’s ready to barter Bitcoin for some street food. Stay humble, Jack!
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+10% | 0 | 1.07B | 126 | BabyDoge | Baby Doge Coin | |
| 1 |  |
 |
+11% | 98% | 0.04 | 2.23B | 63 | JASMY | JasmyCoin |
| 2 |  |
 |
+27% | 2.54 | 709M | 145 | SUSHI | SushiSwap | |
| 3 |  |
 |
+12% | 81% | 0 | 3.71B | 54 | BONK | Bonk |
| 4 |  |
 |
+9% | 89% | 1.87 | 5.08B | 37 | FET | Artificial Superintelligence Alliance |
| 5 |  |
 |
+11% | 100% | 37.53 | 788M | 130 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 6 |  |
 |
+12% | 5.57 | 3.09B | 78 | RAY | Raydium | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+14% | 93% | 0.16 | 81.3M | 586 | AERGO | Aergo |
| 8 |  |
 |
+3% | 4.2 | 7.53B | 42 | OM | MANTRA | |
| 9 |  |
 |
+23% | 68% | 1.47 | 879M | 156 | CTC | Creditcoin |
| 10 |  |
 |
+11% | 0.06 | 319M | 262 | PEOPLE | ConstitutionDAO | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+16% | 75% | 0.78 | 234M | 367 | CTXC | Cortex |
| 12 |  |
 |
+46% | 0.02 | 267M | 292 | XVG | Verge | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+19% | 84% | 0.66 | 664M | 167 | ZRX | 0x Protocol |
| 14 |  |
 |
+15% | 22% | 2.15 | 2.15B | 182 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 15 |  |
 |
+14% | 53% | 0.02 | 1.55B | 128 | RSR | Reserve Rights |
| 16 |  |
 |
+14% | 94% | 2.59 | 259M | 308 | LQTY | Liquity |
| 17 |  |
 |
+18% | 0.18 | 181M | 361 | CVC | Civic | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+9% | 6.3 | 1.63B | 114 | PENDLE | Pendle | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+23% | 0.69 | 241M | 352 | MAGIC | Treasure | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+13% | 0.01 | 59.2M | 706 | TROY | TROY | |
| 21 |  |
 |
+11% | 44% | 1.31 | 2.76B | 104 | CORE | Core |
| 22 |  |
 |
+12% | 0.73 | 729M | 271 | YGG | Yield Guild Games | |
| 23 |  |
 |
+13% | 0.6 | 715M | 198 | LUNA | Terra | |
| 24 |  |
 |
+12% | 0.01 | 690M | 142 | CKB | Nervos Network | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+16% | 30.44 | 360M | 246 | SSV | ssv.network | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+4% | 99% | 3.24 | 68.1M | 628 | DEGO | Dego Finance |
| 27 |  |
 |
+17% | 2.23 | 2.23B | 110 | SUPER | SuperVerse | |
| 28 |  |
 |
+6% | 0.01 | 1B | 129 | AMP | Amp |
So, the crypto market’s a mixed bag of nuts – some cashews, some peanuts, and a whole lot of those weird, chalky ones nobody likes. It’s up, it’s down, it’s sideways – basically, it’s doing its best impression of my mood swings. Moral of the story? Don’t bet the farm on BabyDoge. Unless you like living in a cardboard box, fueled by ramen and regret. In the immortal words of WSB, ‘Congrats and fuck off!’