- BTCB (Bitcoin BEP2)
- $100034.36: ⭐⭐
- Over $100k per coin and didn’t even flinch in the market dip. Clearly Bitcoin doesn’t care about our feelings. It’s the stoic grandpa of crypto, watching us mortals squabble over memecoins while it sips its digital tea.
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.4: ⭐⭐⭐
- Exploited, crashed, and still kicking? Dogecoin is the cockroach of crypto – you just can’t kill it. Even with 69% of its nodes down (nice!), it refuses to go to zero. Respect.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3888.64: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Holding relatively steady, like the reliable friend who always shows up with snacks. While others are losing their minds, ETH is quietly plotting its next big move. Maybe it learned a thing or two from Bitcoin’s zen masterclass.
- BCH (Bitcoin Cash)
- $529.16: ⭐
- Another Bitcoin spin-off trying to make its mark. It’s like the younger sibling trying to outshine its older brother but ending up tripping over its own shoelaces. Sorry, BCH, but you’re no BTC.
- SOL (Solana)
- $225.1: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Solana’s price took a dip, but let’s be honest, it’s still hanging in there. It’s like the athlete who stumbled but quickly regained their composure. Could be a dark horse in the crypto race.
Texas wants a strategic Bitcoin reserve?! Sure, because when I think ‘stable investment,’ I think ‘magic internet money’ that can be exploited by hackers, as apparently happened to Dogecoin, crashing 69% of its nodes (nice). Meanwhile, Bitcoin, at a cool $100,003.36, is playing hard to get. Only 0.1 BTC? That’ll be a mere $10,000. Oh, and our favorite ’expert,’ Jim Cramer, had a chat with a certain ex-president about Bitcoin. Spoiler alert: it was as coherent as a toddler trying to explain quantum physics.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-6% | 93% | 0.06 | 5.06B | 34 | VET | VeChain |
| 1 |  |
 |
-6% | 17.33 | 17.3B | 20 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 2 |  |
 |
-5% | 78% | 1.09 | 49.1B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 3 |  |
 |
-5% | 0.62 | 6.15B | 103 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 4 |  |
 |
-4% | 54% | 1.26 | 7.83B | 38 | MNT | Mantle |
| 5 |  |
 |
-4% | 94% | 529.16 | 11.1B | 19 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash |
| 6 |  |
 |
-4% | 6.86 | 8.4B | 24 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-4% | 6.62 | 13B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 8 |  |
 |
-4% | 57% | 2.32 | 232B | 4 | XRP | XRP |
| 9 |  |
 |
-4% | 54.38 | 16.3B | 51 | OKB | OKB | |
| 10 |  |
 |
-4% | 60% | 0.42 | 20.9B | 17 | XLM | Stellar |
| 11 |  |
 |
-4% | 0 | 16.4B | 13 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 12 |  |
 |
-4% | 9.17 | 9.04B | 23 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | |
| 13 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.29 | 24.9B | 10 | TRX | TRON | |
| 14 |  |
 |
-3% | 8.96 | 13.7B | 16 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 15 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.29 | 25.2B | 10149 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | |
| 16 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.19 | 5.57B | 32 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-3% | 225.1 | 133B | 5 | SOL | Solana | |
| 18 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.4 | 59.4B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-2% | 81% | 138.47 | 2.06B | 72 | QNT | Quant |
| 20 |  |
 |
-2% | 1.04 | 10.4B | 37 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 21 |  |
 |
-2% | 100% | 709.35 | 102B | 6 | BNB | BNB |
| 22 |  |
 |
-2% | 71% | 33.76 | 7.11B | 31 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 23 |  |
 |
-1% | 89% | 119.66 | 10.1B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin |
| 24 |  |
 |
-1% | 13.44 | 7.08B | 26 | ICP | Internet Computer | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-1% | 1 | 498M | 172 | TUSD | TrueUSD | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-1% | 3882.79 | 38.2B | 10148 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-1% | 3888.64 | 468B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 28 |  |
 |
100034 | 6.53B | 10155 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 |
So, the crypto market is a dumpster fire right now. But hey, at least it’s entertaining, right? Just remember, folks: never invest more than you can afford to lose, especially when the market’s acting like a drunken gambler on tilt. Who knows, maybe tomorrow we’ll all be millionaires… or maybe we’ll be trading our remaining Bitcoin for a can of beans. Stay tuned.