- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $100232.51: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- King BTC is holding court at over $100k, but the 24h change is zero. Is Bitcoin sleeping, or just flexing on the haters? Remember kids, you can’t print more Bitcoin. Unless you’re China or Russia, apparently. 40% of Bitcoin residing in those countries? Maybe Trump should buy gold from them to fund the strategic DOGE reserve. MSTR anyone? No? Just me? OK.
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.4: ⭐⭐⭐
- The Dogecoin. Still kicking. Trump may not know, but the Reddit degens sure do. They’re ready to send this pup to Uranus. With a price under a dollar, it’s cheaper than a cup of coffee these days. Probably because it’s basically worthless… until it isn’t? Rocket emojis to the moon! 🚀🚀🚀
- LINK (Chainlink)
- $29.0: ⭐⭐⭐
- LINK, the oracle of the blockchain. But is it whispering sweet nothings or just babbling nonsense? Only the charts know. And they’re not talking. Probably too busy figuring out how to unlock those digital asses and tap that sweet, sweet digital asset.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3895.44: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- ETH, the perennial second fiddle. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Still rocking a hefty price tag, though. Maybe one day it’ll overtake Bitcoin. Or maybe it’ll just keep being the Robin to Bitcoin’s Batman. Who knows?
- XRP (XRP)
- $2.32: ⭐⭐
- XRP, down 4%? Ouch. Looks like someone rippled a little too hard. Better luck next time, buddy. Maybe try a strategic reserve of toilet paper instead. At least that has a purpose.
Trump’s musing about a strategic Bitcoin reserve? Sounds like someone needs to explain “digital scarcity” and the fact that the US can’t just print more Bitcoin like they do with dollars. Maybe if we all bought DOGE to send it to Uranus, the sheer force of the rocket launch would knock some sense into Washington. This market cap data might give us a clue what’s really going on…
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
94% | 100233 | 2.1T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin | |
| 1 |  |
 |
3895.44 | 469B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | ||
| 2 |  |
 |
-4% | 57% | 2.32 | 232B | 4 | XRP | XRP |
| 3 |  |
 |
1 | 143B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 4 |  |
 |
-2% | 224.95 | 133B | 5 | SOL | Solana | |
| 5 |  |
 |
-1% | 703.17 | 101B | 6 | BNB | BNB | |
| 6 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.4 | 59.6B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-6% | 78% | 1.09 | 49.1B | 9 | ADA | Cardano |
| 8 |  |
 |
1 | 41.6B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 9 |  |
 |
3891.82 | 38.3B | 10143 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
-1% | 6.38 | 32.6B | 14 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 11 |  |
 |
29 | 29B | 12 | LINK | Chainlink | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.29 | 25.1B | 10144 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | |
| 13 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.29 | 24.8B | 10 | TRX | TRON | |
| 14 |  |
 |
+3% | 57% | 51.92 | 37.2B | 11 | AVAX | Avalanche |
| 15 |  |
 |
-5% | 60% | 0.42 | 20.8B | 17 | XLM | Stellar |
| 16 |  |
 |
-5% | 17.36 | 17.4B | 20 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 17 |  |
 |
-4% | 0 | 16.4B | 13 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | |
| 18 |  |
 |
-3% | 54.49 | 16.3B | 49 | OKB | OKB | |
| 19 |  |
 |
13.75 | 15.5B | 25 | APT | Aptos | ||
| 20 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.29 | 14.7B | 10225 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 21 |  |
 |
-4% | 76% | 0.29 | 14.7B | 18 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 22 |  |
 |
-4% | 8.92 | 13.6B | 15 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 23 |  |
 |
99725 | 13.6B | 10146 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | ||
| 24 |  |
 |
-4% | 6.62 | 13B | 41 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+2% | 29% | 2.53 | 10.9B | 51 | OP | Optimism |
| 26 |  |
 |
-4% | 94% | 532.01 | 11.2B | 19 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash |
| 27 |  |
 |
-1% | 1.04 | 10.4B | 37 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 28 |  |
 |
-1% | 89% | 119.85 | 10.1B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin |
So, the crypto market is either about to explode or implode. Maybe both? It’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck, except the train is made of digital ones and zeros and the wreck is probably going to make someone a lot of money. Just not you. Probably. Stay tuned for the next episode of Crypto Chaos!