- LINK (Chainlink)
- $30.58: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Chainlink’s hanging in there, which is more than we can say for that guy who ’lost’ all his Bitcoin in a boating accident with Steelersaccountant. Seriously? You think you’re slick? Maybe he’s one of the guys who sold BTC below $1 when they had thousands - facepalm. LINK is doing a decent 21% in 7D, better than most. Not bad for an oracle that probably knows more than your wife about your secret crypto stash.
- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $104566.57: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- BTC is like that kangaroo invasion of Uruguay – totally absurd but happening. It’s over 100k Euros! It’s a god-candle! Cheers genitals! Now, if it could just hit $500k so that poor guy can retire his wife (and stop lying to her), we’d all be happy.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3943.62: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum – the OG altcoin – is still proving its not an NFT. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Unless you’re on Adderall in which case, who needs sleep? I mean, who has time to sleep or sell when there’s another few percent of ETH to be gained?
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.40: ⭐⭐⭐
- Dogecoin. Still exists. Much like the question of whether or not you should tell your wife about your crypto gains. You’re in trouble. Trust me.
- SOL (Solana)
- $217.82: ⭐⭐⭐
- Solana? More like So-lana Del Rey – riding that summertime sadness of a -4% 7-day change. Hopefully, you haven’t bet the farm on this one. Otherwise, you might be needing that Wall Street Adderall prescription.
Looks like those Wall Street bankers are self-medicating to cope with Excel spreadsheets (no judgment here). Meanwhile, in the crypto world, we’re high on gains (mostly). Bitcoin’s flirting with $105k – or 0.105M for the sophisticated – and some folks are even pondering a Lambo purchase (used, probably). Remember, kids, this isn’t financial advice. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
+5% | 30.58 | 30.6B | 12 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 1 |  |
 |
+2% | 29% | 2.51 | 10.8B | 50 | OP | Optimism |
| 2 |  |
 |
+2% | 9.6 | 9.46B | 23 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | |
| 3 |  |
 |
+2% | 104160 | 14.2B | 10154 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | |
| 4 |  |
 |
+2% | 104598 | 6.83B | 10158 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | |
| 5 |  |
 |
+2% | 94% | 104567 | 2.2T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin |
| 6 |  |
 |
+1% | 3940.34 | 38.7B | 10151 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 7 |  |
 |
+1% | 3943.62 | 475B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 8 |  |
 |
+1% | 13.48 | 15.3B | 25 | APT | Aptos | |
| 9 |  |
 |
+1% | 2.22 | 2.22B | 65 | LDO | Lido DAO | |
| 10 |  |
 |
+1% | 6.58 | 12.9B | 39 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 11 |  |
 |
213.69 | 3.94B | 41 | XMR | Monero | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
89% | 118.3 | 9.94B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin | |
| 13 |  |
 |
0.99 | 9.87B | 37 | ARB | Arbitrum | ||
| 14 |  |
 |
71% | 32.96 | 6.94B | 31 | ETC | Ethereum Classic | |
| 15 |  |
 |
53.81 | 16.1B | 49 | OKB | OKB | ||
| 16 |  |
 |
6.64 | 8.14B | 24 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
0.4 | 58.8B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
8.73 | 13.4B | 16 | DOT | Polkadot | ||
| 19 |  |
 |
1.01 | 498M | 166 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 20 |  |
 |
1 | 42.1B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 21 |  |
 |
1 | 5.37B | 29 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 22 |  |
 |
1 | 143B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 23 |  |
 |
81% | 134.45 | 2B | 74 | QNT | Quant | |
| 24 |  |
 |
1 | 68.3M | 604 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 25 |  |
 |
709.07 | 102B | 6 | BNB | BNB | ||
| 26 |  |
 |
88% | 1919.54 | 1.93B | 70 | MKR | Maker | |
| 27 |  |
 |
57% | 49.02 | 35.1B | 11 | AVAX | Avalanche | |
| 28 |  |
 |
217.82 | 129B | 5 | SOL | Solana |
Well, there you have it, folks. Another day, another crypto drama. It seems like the only thing more volatile than these digital assets are the Reddit comment sections discussing them. So, buckle up, buy the dip (or don’t), and whatever you do, don’t tell your wife… unless you like sleeping on the couch. Just kidding! (Mostly). Remember the truth: there is no top… only higher lows and infinite regret for paper hands… unless your wife is the one holding the paper. Then, you’re REALLY in trouble.