- BTCB (Bitcoin BEP2)
- $104687.72: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- BTCB, because real Bitcoin is so last year. Just passed €100,000 in Europoor bucks for the first time. Still, rookie numbers compared to this wrapped version. Cheers genitals! 🍻
- SHIB (Shiba Inu)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- SHIB, the Dogecoin wannabe, is clinging on for dear life. So much potential, such a terrible name. Bitcoin CEO needs to do a sale 😞.
- MKR (Maker)
- $1935.39: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- MKR, defying the odds with a stable price. Is it a god-candle or just another pump and dump? Time will tell, probably after Monday.
- WBTC (Wrapped Bitcoin)
- $104336.10: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- WBTC, yet another way to package the same product in crypto. So meta, even their high score is almost as good as the real Bitcoin.
- BCH (Bitcoin Cash)
- $533.73: ⭐⭐⭐
- BCH, the forgotten stepchild of Bitcoin. Remember when it was supposed to be the next big thing? Good times.
Hold your horses, Wall Street gamblers! While you’re snorting Adderall and chugging Monsterbombs to survive another 90-hour workweek, the crypto world is pumping and dumping its way to new highs and lows. Today’s spotlight is on the ‘1B’ group, the crypto equivalent of a freshman dorm – full of potential, but mostly just cheap and volatile. Speaking of cheap thrills, Bitcoin just hit €100,000, which is great news for our friends in Europoor-land (but still rookie numbers, let’s be real).
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
1 | 68.4M | 610 | BUSD | BUSD | ||
| 1 |  |
 |
1.01 | 498M | 167 | TUSD | TrueUSD | ||
| 2 |  |
 |
88% | 1935.39 | 1.95B | 70 | MKR | Maker | |
| 3 |  |
 |
+1% | 81% | 136.25 | 2.03B | 74 | QNT | Quant |
| 4 |  |
 |
+4% | 2.27 | 2.27B | 65 | LDO | Lido DAO | |
| 5 |  |
 |
8.84 | 3.45B | 48 | ATOM | Cosmos | ||
| 6 |  |
 |
+3% | 215.22 | 3.97B | 41 | XMR | Monero | |
| 7 |  |
 |
93% | 0.06 | 4.88B | 35 | VET | VeChain | |
| 8 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.17 | 5.21B | 33 | CRO | Cronos | |
| 9 |  |
 |
1 | 5.36B | 29 | DAI | Dai | ||
| 10 |  |
 |
+1% | 0.6 | 5.99B | 102 | MATIC | Polygon | |
| 11 |  |
 |
12.84 | 6.76B | 26 | ICP | Internet Computer | ||
| 12 |  |
 |
+2% | 104688 | 6.84B | 10158 | BTCB | Bitcoin BEP2 | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+1% | 71% | 33.22 | 7B | 31 | ETC | Ethereum Classic |
| 14 |  |
 |
54% | 1.2 | 7.48B | 40 | MNT | Mantle | |
| 15 |  |
 |
+1% | 6.69 | 8.2B | 24 | NEAR | NEAR Protocol | |
| 16 |  |
 |
+2% | 9.6 | 9.46B | 23 | LEO | UNUS SED LEO | |
| 17 |  |
 |
+2% | 1 | 9.99B | 38 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 18 |  |
 |
+2% | 89% | 119.29 | 10B | 22 | LTC | Litecoin |
| 19 |  |
 |
94% | 533.73 | 11.2B | 19 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash | |
| 20 |  |
 |
+3% | 29% | 2.51 | 10.8B | 50 | OP | Optimism |
| 21 |  |
 |
+1% | 6.62 | 13B | 39 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 22 |  |
 |
+2% | 8.78 | 13.4B | 16 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-2% | 76% | 0.28 | 14B | 18 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 24 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.28 | 14B | 10235 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+2% | 104336 | 14.2B | 10154 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+2% | 13.64 | 15.4B | 25 | APT | Aptos | |
| 27 |  |
 |
0 | 16.1B | 14 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | ||
| 28 |  |
 |
+1% | 53.98 | 16.2B | 49 | OKB | OKB |
So, there you have it, folks. The crypto market is a wild ride, full of ups and downs, gains and losses, and enough drama to make a reality TV producer blush. Remember, though, this is all just a game of numbers. Don’t get too attached to your digital coins, they might not love you back. Unless it’s Bitcoin, Bitcoin loves you like a drunken sailor loves a barfight. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to bang my meat in celebration of all this green dildo action. 💎🙌🚀