- BITCOIN (HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20))
- $0.23: ⭐
- With a name like that, you’d think it’d at least moon ironically. Nope. Down 8%. This is why people on this sub go broke. Seriously, who names these things? It’s like a fever dream generated by a bot trained on Reddit comments. Even fart is a better investment.
- WBETH (Wrapped Beacon ETH)
- $4042.34: ⭐⭐⭐
- Hey, look, a wrapped turd that’s only down 5%. Congrats on not being the biggest loser today, WBETH. You win… absolutely nothing. At least it’s not a meme coin named after a politician’s dog or something equally ridiculous. But with ETH’s instability, this one is a ticking time bomb. Is there even a Michael Burry for digital beanie babies?
- ORDI (ORDI)
- $32.61: ⭐⭐
- ORDI, down 6%. Not great, not terrible. About as exciting as watching paint dry, although someone must be buying this if it has 700M market cap. Someone explain. Is this one of those ‘store of value’ things? More like a store of boredom. Someone short it! If you dare.
- ARKM (Arkham)
- $1.85: ⭐⭐
- Down 6%? Yawn. Next. This is the crypto equivalent of lukewarm coffee. I’ve seen more excitement at a funeral. Someone YOLO’d their 0% credit card into Bitcoin, so why bother with this one? Unless they start offering Arkham Asylum NFTs, I’m out. Even El Salvador looks better these days.
- SDEX (SmarDex)
- $0.02: ⭐⭐⭐
- SmarDex, up a whole 31%. Congrats! Does that qualify as ‘to the moon?’ lol Is it the next big thing or just another pump and dump? It has the same upside of MicroStrategy with the same risk (and I say that as someone who’s not particularly a fan of bitcoin)
While big boys like Bitcoin flirt with $100k (and bankruptcy for MicroStrategy lol), these rugrats are battling for survival in the 10M market cap kiddie pool. It’s a bloodbath out there, folks, with more red than a WSB portfolio after a Tesla tweet. The only thing pumping harder than my disappointment is the hopium of $1M Bitcoin…soon!
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-6% | 22% | 1.85 | 1.85B | 180 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 1 |  |
 |
-8% | 0.03 | 3.17M | 1625 | BRICK | r/FortNiteBR Bricks | |
| 2 |  |
 |
-4% | 100% | 7.69 | 7.69M | 1320 | UNIBOT | UniBot |
| 3 |  |
 |
-6% | 50% | 0.32 | 31.9M | 1057 | STT | Statter Network |
| 4 |  |
 |
-8% | 30% | 0.47 | 472M | 391 | NTRN | Neutron |
| 5 |  |
 |
-11% | 71% | 0 | 19.9M | 1107 | BAD | Bad Idea AI |
| 6 |  |
 |
-3% | 96% | 0.01 | 489M | 217 | SNEK | Snek |
| 7 |  |
 |
-8% | 0.23 | 235M | 293 | BITCOIN | HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20) | |
| 8 |  |
 |
-6% | 100% | 32.61 | 685M | 132 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 9 |  |
 |
-5% | 82% | 0 | 77.7M | 605 | LADYS | Milady Meme Coin |
| 10 |  |
 |
-4% | 4042.34 | 7.15B | 10203 | WBETH | Wrapped Beacon ETH | |
| 11 |  |
 |
-5% | 40% | 0.58 | 577M | 296 | EDU | Open Campus |
| 12 |  |
 |
-6% | 0 | 62.8M | 646 | AIDOGE | ArbDoge AI | |
| 13 |  |
 |
+7% | 0 | 130K | 2580 | PLAY | Play Token | |
| 14 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.19 | 560M | 330 | AGI | Delysium | |
| 15 |  |
 |
+31% | 0.02 | 156M | 393 | SDEX | SmarDex | |
| 16 |  |
 |
0.15 | 154M | 1049 | UNS | UNS TOKEN | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.05 | 44.9M | 744 | NXRA | Nexera | |
| 18 |  |
 |
-7% | 0.1 | 9.74M | 1253 | OPTI | Optimus AI | |
| 19 |  |
 |
+1% | 4% | 0 | 43.2M | 1794 | HVH | HAVAH |
| 20 |  |
 |
-15% | 77% | 0.02 | 18.3M | 1108 | IMGNAI | imgnAI |
| 21 |  |
 |
-7% | 44% | 1.21 | 2.55B | 99 | CORE | Core |
| 22 |  |
 |
-3% | 32% | 0.01 | 94.4M | 858 | GFAL | Games for a Living |
| 23 |  |
 |
27% | 0 | 46.2M | 1135 | NEXA | Nexa | |
| 24 |  |
 |
-5% | 86% | 0.34 | 338M | 258 | 0x0 | 0x0.ai |
| 25 |  |
 |
-17% | 0.01 | 9.82M | 1240 | TOMI | tomi | |
| 26 |  |
 |
0.01 | 1.03M | 2033 | GRV | Grove Coin | ||
| 27 |  |
 |
-5% | 81% | 0 | 3.13B | 56 | BONK | Bonk |
| 28 |  |
 |
+8% | 58% | 0 | 20M | 1166 | RXD | Radiant |
The baby crypto market is basically the Island of Misfit Toys, but instead of Rudolph, they’re hoping for Elon Musk to tweet about them. Buckle up, buttercup, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride. If I had a dollar for every shitcoin, I’d have… wait… nevermind.