- ORDI (ORDI)
- $26.34: ⭐⭐⭐
- ORDI, huh? Sounds like someone sneezed while trying to say “order.” 26 bucks? For that price, it better come with a lifetime supply of tissues and a hazmat suit for the inevitable market crash. And with Biden signing another spending deal and Santa rallying… I guess the government shutdown is back on the menu, boys. (Reddit News)
- ARKM (Arkham)
- $1.44: ⭐⭐
- Arkham… more like ‘Darkham’ amirite? This one’s down 1% in 24 hours. Not quite a bloodbath, but enough to make you question your life choices. Remember, “If it’s good enough to take a picture, it’s good enough to take profits.” (Reddit News)
- BITCOIN (HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20))
- $0.17: ⭐
- With a name like HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu, you’d think this coin was destined for greatness. Spoiler: it’s not. Down 2%. Another one bites the dust. And solo miners are raking in the big bucks while you’re stuck holding this… thing. (Reddit News)
- BAD (Bad Idea AI)
- $0.00: ⭐
- Bad Idea AI… the name speaks for itself. Down a whopping 11%. Shocking. I’d say I’m surprised, but I’ve seen enough rug pulls to know that in crypto, the only AI is Artificial Ineptitude.
- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- Bonk. Aptly named, considering it just went up 1%. It’s the equivalent of finding a penny on the sidewalk – momentarily exciting, ultimately meaningless. Also, somebody gifted $50 worth of Bitcoin 9 years ago. That’s around $12k today, in case your terrible investment strategy requires more proof. (Reddit News)
Amidst the holiday cheer, solo Bitcoin miners are striking gold while everyone else stares blankly at their portfolio. Looks like Santa skipped some stockings this year. Speaking of questionable gifts, Intel’s ‘bang-for-your-buck’ GPU is apparently so good it’s sold out. Color me skeptical. This 10M market cap group? More like the Island of Misfit Toys.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-1% | 22% | 1.44 | 1.44B | 200 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 1 |  |
 |
+4% | 0.03 | 3.37M | 1568 | BRICK | r/FortNiteBR Bricks | |
| 2 |  |
 |
-3% | 100% | 6.28 | 6.28M | 1350 | UNIBOT | UniBot |
| 3 |  |
 |
50% | 0.31 | 30.7M | 1022 | STT | Statter Network | |
| 4 |  |
 |
30% | 0.37 | 368M | 417 | NTRN | Neutron | |
| 5 |  |
 |
-11% | 70% | 0 | 14.3M | 1183 | BAD | Bad Idea AI |
| 6 |  |
 |
96% | 0.01 | 470M | 214 | SNEK | Snek | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.17 | 167M | 337 | BITCOIN | HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20) | |
| 8 |  |
 |
100% | 26.34 | 553M | 142 | ORDI | ORDI | |
| 9 |  |
 |
-4% | 82% | 0 | 63.6M | 630 | LADYS | Milady Meme Coin |
| 10 |  |
 |
-1% | 3465.11 | 6.13B | 10257 | WBETH | Wrapped Beacon ETH | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+1% | 40% | 0.51 | 509M | 291 | EDU | Open Campus |
| 12 |  |
 |
0 | 49M | 684 | AIDOGE | ArbDoge AI | ||
| 13 |  |
 |
0 | 158K | 2542 | PLAY | Play Token | ||
| 14 |  |
 |
0.16 | 474M | 338 | AGI | Delysium | ||
| 15 |  |
 |
0.01 | 144M | 385 | SDEX | SmarDex | ||
| 16 |  |
 |
0.15 | 154M | 1002 | UNS | UNS TOKEN | ||
| 17 |  |
 |
0.04 | 35.7M | 780 | NXRA | Nexera | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.07 | 7.38M | 1306 | OPTI | Optimus AI | |
| 19 |  |
 |
4% | 0 | 41.1M | 1772 | HVH | HAVAH | |
| 20 |  |
 |
-4% | 77% | 0.01 | 11.9M | 1211 | IMGNAI | imgnAI |
| 21 |  |
 |
-1% | 44% | 1.07 | 2.25B | 99 | CORE | Core |
| 22 |  |
 |
-3% | 33% | 0.01 | 91.1M | 817 | GFAL | Games for a Living |
| 23 |  |
 |
+8% | 27% | 0 | 48.6M | 1069 | NEXA | Nexa |
| 24 |  |
 |
-3% | 86% | 0.28 | 278M | 266 | 0x0 | 0x0.ai |
| 25 |  |
 |
-7% | 0.01 | 9.73M | 1202 | TOMI | tomi | |
| 26 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.01 | 961K | 2017 | GRV | Grove Coin | |
| 27 |  |
 |
+1% | 81% | 0 | 2.9B | 53 | BONK | Bonk |
| 28 |  |
 |
58% | 0 | 16.4M | 1199 | RXD | Radiant |
So, there you have it. Another day, another crypto rollercoaster. Remember, folks, it’s not a loss if you don’t sell… unless you actually need that money, then it’s a very big, very sad loss. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s episode of ‘Crypto Calamity,’ where we’ll watch the market burn while sipping overpriced lattes and pretending we understand blockchain.