- BTC (Bitcoin)
- $97356.01: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- King Bitcoin is still strutting around like it owns the place. With a price of $97,356.01, it’s like the heavyweight champ that refuses to retire. Even with WallStreetBets geniuses trying to marry their way out of losses, Bitcoin’s still the go-to store of value.
- ETH (Ethereum)
- $3654.15: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ethereum, the perennial second fiddle, clocks in at $3654.15. Holding steady, but I’m not holding my breath for a flippening anytime soon. I’d sooner see that WSB dude find a tax-haven spouse.
- LINK (Chainlink)
- $22.33: ⭐⭐⭐
- Chainlink, or as I like to call it, the oracle of ‘meh’. $22.33 - Could it pump more? Sure. Will it? Who knows? Flipping a coin is more predictable than this one.
- DOGE (Dogecoin)
- $0.39: ⭐⭐
- Dogecoin, the meme that refuses to die, sits at a majestic $0.39. Much wow, such value. So sarcasm, very funny.
- SHIB (Shiba Inu)
- $0.0: ⭐
- Shiba Inu - because who needs one Doge when you can have a million Shibs? So cheap it’s practically free. Just like the advice some WSB users give.
Looks like someone on WallStreetBets is looking for a tax-dodging marriage with a millionaire who made some serious short-term capital gains. Maybe they should invest in crypto instead – less paperwork, more volatility! Speaking of which, Bitcoin and Ethereum are still the heavy hitters in the market, with Doge and Chainlink nipping at their heels.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
94% | 97356 | 2.04T | 1 | BTC | Bitcoin | |
| 1 |  |
 |
-2% | 3654.15 | 440B | 2 | ETH | Ethereum | |
| 2 |  |
 |
+4% | 57% | 2.31 | 231B | 4 | XRP | XRP |
| 3 |  |
 |
1 | 141B | 3 | USDT | Tether USDt | ||
| 4 |  |
 |
218.63 | 129B | 5 | SOL | Solana | ||
| 5 |  |
 |
-2% | 678.81 | 97.8B | 6 | BNB | BNB | |
| 6 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.39 | 57.3B | 7 | DOGE | Dogecoin | |
| 7 |  |
 |
78% | 1 | 45.2B | 9 | ADA | Cardano | |
| 8 |  |
 |
1 | 40.9B | 8 | USDC | USDC | ||
| 9 |  |
 |
-1% | 3658.14 | 36B | 10113 | stETH | Lido Staked ETH | |
| 10 |  |
 |
+2% | 6.05 | 30.9B | 13 | TON | Toncoin | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+3% | 0.27 | 23.7B | 10114 | WTRX | Wrapped TRON | |
| 12 |  |
 |
+2% | 0.27 | 23.3B | 10 | TRX | TRON | |
| 13 |  |
 |
-2% | 22.33 | 22.3B | 14 | LINK | Chainlink | |
| 14 |  |
 |
60% | 0.41 | 20.4B | 16 | XLM | Stellar | |
| 15 |  |
 |
-2% | 57% | 44.21 | 31.6B | 11 | AVAX | Avalanche |
| 16 |  |
 |
-1% | 53.22 | 16B | 46 | OKB | OKB | |
| 17 |  |
 |
0 | 15.8B | 12 | SHIB | Shiba Inu | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
-1% | 15.31 | 15.3B | 21 | UNI | Uniswap | |
| 19 |  |
 |
-3% | 76% | 0.28 | 13.9B | 18 | HBAR | Hedera |
| 20 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.28 | 13.9B | 10194 | WHBAR | Wrapped HBAR | |
| 21 |  |
 |
97178.6 | 13.3B | 10116 | WBTC | Wrapped Bitcoin | ||
| 22 |  |
 |
-1% | 11.56 | 13.1B | 25 | APT | Aptos | |
| 23 |  |
 |
-2% | 8.32 | 12.7B | 15 | DOT | Polkadot | |
| 24 |  |
 |
-2% | 6.15 | 12.1B | 42 | FIL | Filecoin | |
| 25 |  |
 |
-4% | 94% | 520.36 | 10.9B | 19 | BCH | Bitcoin Cash |
| 26 |  |
 |
-2% | 29% | 2.19 | 9.42B | 52 | OP | Optimism |
| 27 |  |
 |
-3% | 0.92 | 9.24B | 41 | ARB | Arbitrum | |
| 28 |  |
 |
-3% | 89% | 109.47 | 9.2B | 23 | LTC | Litecoin |
The crypto market, ladies and gentlemen, is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get. Unless it’s volatility. You’ll always get a healthy dose of that. So, hold on tight, or maybe just hold on to your tax-loss spouse. At least you know where they are (probably at a divorce lawyer’s office).