Stocks always go up right? Just ask anyone who retired in 1929 or 2008 Historys a cruel comedian Dont be the punchline
Market manipulation? Nah just another Tuesday Remember folks guaranteed returns are about as real as a unicorn riding a rocket Invest wisely or just hide your cash under a mattress
Someone turned 131k into 200k on a risky options bet Congrats I guess? Reminds me of that saying about a broken clock being right twice a day Dont mistake luck for skill Markets are casinos dressed in suits
Markets tanked faster than my dating prospects One mans trade war everyone elses portfolio bonfire Time to bury my cash in the backyard I guess?
Vietnam offers free trade Trump admin: Nah youre cheating Sounds like someone lost the Monopoly game and flipped the board Markets gonna need a bailout for its bailout
