Market jumped? Must be insider trading Nothing to see here folks Just the usual Wall Street magic show Dont forget to buy the dip before its pumped and dumped again
Trumps tariff U-turn? Just another day in the rigged casino we call the stock market Dont forget the house always wins stocks tariffs
Market up 8 on a tariff pause that was a fake news rumor days earlier? Sure nothing shady here Just your regular totally-not-manipulated market
Trump tariff pause insider trading? Shocked I tell you Shocked Anyone taking bets on how little happens this time? My moneys on absolutely nothing
145 tariffs on China? Sure blame fentanyl Reminds me of 2008complex schemes average folks left holding the bag History doesnt repeat but it rhymeswith impending financial disaster
