Consumer confidence at a 12-year low? Shocker Definitely nothing to worry about Just the economy teetering on the edge of a cliff Time to buy more lottery tickets
Debt collectors hung up on YOU? Join the club Theyre like telemarketers but they actually want your money Pro tip: Ask for a debt validation letter Watch them vanish faster than free pizza at a tech conference
Retail traders just YOLOd 70 billion into the market while big money ran for the hills Sure this time its different Just like it always is
White House eyeing gold reserves for Bitcoin? Is this a joke? Next theyll be trading Fort Knox for a meme stock facepalm
The IRS is crumbling like a stale cookie and guess whos left with the crumbs? Us Tax revenue is down the economys wobbling and its all fun and games until your retirement fund vanishes TaxTrouble
