TL;DR
A “fake news” tariff rumor pumped the S&P 500 by $3T, then dumped it by $2.5T within minutes. The lesson? Market manipulation is alive and well, making fools of us all.
Story
Imagine a roller coaster designed by con artists. That’s what happened in the market today. A single “rumor”—more like a strategically placed whisper—about a 90-day tariff pause sent the S&P 500 soaring. We’re talking a $3 TRILLION surge in market cap. Think of it as a house of cards built on hot air. It was over as quickly as it started when minutes later, White House called it “fake news”. BOOM. $2.5 TRILLION gone, poof, like a gambler’s last chip. John Q. Public—probably checking stocks on his phone during lunch—watched his retirement savings dance up then down like a yo-yo, netting him a fat zero. This isn’t a new trick. Market manipulation has been happening since the Dutch Tulip Mania.‣¹ Remember Enron?‣² Or the 2008 housing crash?‣³ Same song, different verse. Someone knew the “news” was fake, made a killing, and left everyone else holding the bag.
‣¹ Dutch Tulip Mania: A 17th-century speculative bubble where tulip prices skyrocketed then crashed, leaving many ruined. ‣² Enron: An energy company whose fraudulent accounting practices led to its collapse in 2001. ‣³ 2008 Housing Crash: A market crash caused by subprime mortgages and risky investments, leading to a global recession.
Advice
If a market move seems too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t chase rumors, or you’ll end up as the punchline.