Featured image of post 2024-05-29  Crypto-coaster: Hold onto Your Butts Folks

2024-05-29 Crypto-coaster: Hold onto Your Butts Folks

Cryptocurrency market is like a rollercoaster designed by a sadist—thrilling highs, gut-wrenching lows, and always a line of suckers waiting for their turn to puke.

  • BTC (Bitcoin)
    • $67801.63: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • The OG crypto is like that aging rockstar - still rakes it in, but past its prime. Maybe those casino guys know something we don’t…
  • ETH (Ethereum)
    • $3804.80: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Ethereum is like that reliable friend with a good job. You know they’re not going anywhere, but damn, they’re boring.
  • LINK (Chainlink)
    • $18.46: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Chainlink, holding its own. Maybe it’s time to brush up on those smart contracts before the masses catch on…
  • DOGE (Dogecoin)
    • $0.16: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Dogecoin is like that friend who’s always broke but somehow still manages to party harder than everyone else. You can’t help but love them, even if they make questionable life choices.
  • SHIB (Shiba Inu)
    • $0.00: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Shiba Inu - the meme coin that refuses to die. Hey, at least it’s good for a laugh, right?

While some folks are busy overanalyzing candlestick charts, our man on Reddit is cashing out his portfolio because a couple of casino workers dared to utter the phrase ‘10:1 stock split.’ Talk about market indicators! Apparently, when the gambling addicts start discussing investments, it’s time to head for the hills.


Logo 30D Change 24H Change Circulating Price $ Diluted Cap $ Cap # Symbol Name
0 93% 67801.6 1.42T 1 BTC Bitcoin
1 -2% 3804.8 457B 2 ETH Ethereum
2 1 115B 3 USDT Tether USDt
3 168.84 97.4B 5 SOL Solana
4 598.76 88.4B 4 BNB BNB
5 55% 0.53 52.9B 7 XRP XRP
6 -2% 3804.85 35.9B 201 stETH Lido Staked ETH
7 6.51 33.2B 9 TON Toncoin
8 1 32.3B 6 USDC USDC
9 0.16 23.8B 8 DOGE Dogecoin
10 +1% 58% 18.46 18.5B 13 LINK Chainlink
11 79% 0.46 20.8B 10 ADA Cardano
12 54% 36.91 26.4B 12 AVAX Avalanche
13 +9% 0 16.2B 11 SHIB Shiba Inu
14 -1% 46.39 13.9B 42 OKB OKB
15 -1% 1.18 11.8B 31 ARB Arbitrum
16 5.98 11.7B 33 FIL Filecoin
17 25% 2.54 10.9B 44 OP Optimism
18 59% 10.87 10.9B 19 UNI Uniswap
19 7.42 10.7B 14 DOT Polkadot
20 67850.7 10.5B 204 WBTC Wrapped Bitcoin
21 9.34 10.3B 26 APT Aptos
22 0.11 9.77B 205 WTRX Wrapped TRON
23 0.11 9.75B 15 TRX TRON
24 93% 469.24 9.85B 16 BCH Bitcoin Cash
25 -2% 7.74 9.23B 17 NEAR NEAR Protocol
26 99% 0.74 7.37B 18 MATIC Polygon
27 88% 83.31 7B 21 LTC Litecoin
28 -2% 69% 30.77 6.48B 25 ETC Ethereum Classic

The crypto market - where fortunes are made and lost faster than you can say ‘rug pull.’ Stay informed, stay skeptical, and for the love of Satoshi, don’t take investment advice from dudes in a casino.

Made with the laziness 🦥
by a busy guy