Featured image of post 2024-05-30 Crypto-Market Shtshow:  A Comedy of Stonks

2024-05-30 Crypto-Market Shtshow: A Comedy of Stonks

Buckle up buttercup, it's another day, another dollar in the crypto casino. We're diving into the wild world of digital assets with all the grace and tact of a bull in a china shop, so grab your helmets (and your sense of humor).

  • ARKM (Arkham)
    • $2.51: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Arkham… sounds like a Batman villain’s lair. With a 9% bump in 24 hours, maybe it is? Hiding in the shadows with a 2.5 Billion market cap? I’m watching you, Arkham. I’m watching you.
  • BeAI (BeNFT Solutions)
    • $0.06: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • BeAI? More like ‘Be-careful-AI’. 525% in a week? Someone knows something we don’t … or they’re really good at playing the hype game.
  • CTK (Shentu)
    • $0.98: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Shentu, Shentu… it rhymes with ‘FOMO’, which is probably why it’s up 39% today. Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll crash back down to Earth soon enough.
  • DG (Decentral Games)
    • $0.03: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Decentral Games - Because who needs to go outside and actually play games with other humans? Am I right, fellow basement dwellers?
  • BRISE (Bitgert)
    • $0.00: ⭐⭐
    • Bitgert is up 21% for the week. Too bad one BRISE is still worth less than a grain of salt.

While Daddy Nvidia’s stock skyrockets like a SpaceX rocket fueled by gamer tears (seriously, wish I bought stock instead of graphics cards!), the crypto markets are putting on their own brand of chaotic performance. Let’s unpack the 2024-05-30 data for cryptos valued around 10M. Just remember, I’m not a financial advisor, I’m just here for the lols… and maybe to buy a Lambo when this is all over (don’t tell my wife).


Logo 30D Change 24H Change Circulating Price $ Diluted Cap $ Cap # Symbol Name
0 +39% 0.98 132M 403 CTK Shentu
1 +39% 19% 0.06 408K 2427 BeAI BeNFT Solutions
2 +37% 65% 24.58 246M 361 AUCTION Bounce Token
3 +33% 84% 0.11 31.1M 842 RKN Rakon
4 +24% 0.03 24.1M 1177 DG Decentral Games
5 +21% 0 133K 2351 SNM SONM (BEP-20)
6 +20% 0 0 543 BRISE Bitgert
7 +17% 77% 3.12 200M 365 PHB Phoenix
8 +15% 95% 0.34 34.4M 774 OPTI Optimus AI
9 +15% 91% 0.93 77.9M 559 VRSC VerusCoin
10 +13% 22% 0 257M 621 STC SaitaChain Coin
11 +9% 0.02 24.6M 858 CENNZ CENNZnet
12 +9% 59% 0 50M 797 QOM Shiba Predator
13 +9% 0.07 71.5M 660 MDT Measurable Data Token
14 +9% 20% 2.51 2.51B 136 ARKM Arkham
15 +9% 43% 0.02 165M 556 MAPO MAP Protocol
16 +8% 0 41.8M 744 XPR XPR Network
17 +8% 83% 3.35 292M 280 RLC iExec RLC
18 +8% 0.32 150M 372 STEEM Steem
19 +7% 124.16 69.4M 564 DPI DeFi Pulse Index
20 +7% 0.41 5.07M 1399 RGT Rari Governance Token
21 +7% 75% 0.08 23.5M 977 VGX Voyager Token
22 +7% 60% 0.14 141M 516 ALEX ALEX Lab
23 +6% 0.01 64.5M 794 AMB AirDAO
24 +5% 3.16 396M 267 API3 API3
25 +5% 0.43 215M 333 DUSK Dusk
26 +5% 100% 0.01 63M 583 WXT Wirex Token
27 +5% 0.19 19.4M 946 SWAP TrustSwap
28 +5% 0.02 6.2M 1438 VTS Veritise

So, there you have it, folks — the crypto market in all its glory! It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, a symphony of speculation, a masterclass in… well, something. Just remember, when it comes to crypto, never invest more than you can afford to lose (especially if your wife is the jealous type and you are eyeing that Lambo).

Made with the laziness 🦥
by a busy guy