- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- With a name like ‘Bonk,’ this coin already screams questionable life choices. Down 5% today. Not surprising, considering most investors probably lost their shirts (and pants) betting on this one.
- TRU (TrueFi)
- $0.20: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- TrueFi: It’s neither true nor faithful to your portfolio, apparently. Up 2% today. Hey, at least it’s not in the red like most of its friends. It’s like the one kid in class who brings an apple for the teacher—trying too hard.
- ORDI (ORDI)
- $48.13: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ordi: Like a slightly more expensive version of ordering pizza. Down 2%, but still holding relatively steady. Maybe there’s some hope for this one, or maybe I’m just high on hopium.
- CTK (Shentu)
- $0.86: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- CTK (Shentu): Up 20%? Someone’s been hitting the digital sauce. This is either the start of something beautiful or a sign that the simulation is glitching.
Hold onto your diamond hands, folks, because Elon Musk is at it again! The Tesla overlord just got a cool $56 billion pay package approved, proving that in the land of electric cars and questionable tweets, shareholder logic takes a backseat. Meanwhile, in other news, someone on WallStreetBets decided to YOLO their life savings into Grindr (GRND), because why not? This market makes about as much sense as a pigeon playing chess, so let’s break down some of the “highlights,” if you can even call them that.
| Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 0 |  |
 |
-5% | 0 | 2.42B | 54 | BONK | Bonk | |
| 1 |  |
 |
0.11 | 566M | 120 | PEOPLE | ConstitutionDAO | ||
| 2 |  |
 |
-2% | 100% | 48.13 | 1.01B | 77 | ORDI | ORDI |
| 3 |  |
 |
+2% | 78% | 0.2 | 292M | 268 | TRU | TrueFi |
| 4 |  |
 |
98% | 0.04 | 1.79B | 55 | JASMY | JasmyCoin | |
| 5 |  |
 |
-3% | 1.6 | 4.21B | 64 | FET | Fetch.ai | |
| 6 |  |
 |
+5% | 0.39 | 114M | 412 | BAKE | BakeryToken | |
| 7 |  |
 |
-3% | 2.77 | 277M | 359 | HIGH | Highstreet | |
| 8 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.47 | 501M | 154 | POLYX | Polymesh | |
| 9 |  |
 |
76% | 0.06 | 446M | 175 | SKL | SKALE | |
| 10 |  |
 |
42% | 1.58 | 3.31B | 62 | CORE | Core | |
| 11 |  |
 |
+20% | 0.86 | 116M | 405 | CTK | Shentu | |
| 12 |  |
 |
-1% | 97.06 | 257M | 256 | TRB | Tellor | |
| 13 |  |
 |
-1% | 5.13 | 1.33B | 94 | PENDLE | Pendle | |
| 14 |  |
 |
65% | 21.49 | 215M | 358 | AUCTION | Bounce Token | |
| 15 |  |
 |
-5% | 20% | 2.03 | 2.03B | 146 | ARKM | Arkham |
| 16 |  |
 |
-4% | 0.02 | 20.1M | 902 | GFT | Gifto | |
| 17 |  |
 |
0.01 | 250M | 390 | SUN | Sun (New) | ||
| 18 |  |
 |
99% | 0 | 102M | 442 | WIN | WINkLink | |
| 19 |  |
 |
74.35 | 71.9M | 521 | WNXM | Wrapped NXM | ||
| 20 |  |
 |
-1% | 0.8 | 800M | 197 | YGG | Yield Guild Games | |
| 21 |  |
 |
-7% | 73% | 0.44 | 436M | 189 | ELF | aelf |
| 22 |  |
 |
+3% | 93% | 0 | 90.3M | 487 | LEVER | LeverFi |
| 23 |  |
 |
-4% | 38% | 0.39 | 387M | 345 | ONG | Ontology Gas |
| 24 |  |
 |
+11% | 1.44 | 54.2M | 594 | CEL | Celsius | |
| 25 |  |
 |
+1% | 3.19 | 42.9M | 668 | SBD | Steem Dollars | |
| 26 |  |
 |
-2% | 0.53 | 630M | 150 | LUNA | Terra | |
| 27 |  |
 |
-9% | 74% | 0.72 | 180M | 369 | KNC | Kyber Network Crystal v2 |
| 28 |  |
 |
-2% | 17% | 1.12 | 2.36B | 147 | BNX | BinaryX |
So there you have it, folks. Another day, another crypto- induced existential crisis. The markets are as predictable as a toddler on a sugar rush, and just as likely to leave you crying on the bathroom floor. Invest at your own risk, and always remember: never trust a coin with a meme you don’t understand (or one that involves a dog wearing a hat).