- BONK (Bonk)
- $0.00: ⭐⭐
- With a name like ‘Bonk,’ this coin already screams questionable life choices. Down 5% today. Not surprising, considering most investors probably lost their shirts (and pants) betting on this one.
- TRU (TrueFi)
- $0.20: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- TrueFi: It’s neither true nor faithful to your portfolio, apparently. Up 2% today. Hey, at least it’s not in the red like most of its friends. It’s like the one kid in class who brings an apple for the teacher—trying too hard.
- ORDI (ORDI)
- $48.13: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Ordi: Like a slightly more expensive version of ordering pizza. Down 2%, but still holding relatively steady. Maybe there’s some hope for this one, or maybe I’m just high on hopium.
- CTK (Shentu)
- $0.86: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- CTK (Shentu): Up 20%? Someone’s been hitting the digital sauce. This is either the start of something beautiful or a sign that the simulation is glitching.
Hold onto your diamond hands, folks, because Elon Musk is at it again! The Tesla overlord just got a cool $56 billion pay package approved, proving that in the land of electric cars and questionable tweets, shareholder logic takes a backseat. Meanwhile, in other news, someone on WallStreetBets decided to YOLO their life savings into Grindr (GRND), because why not? This market makes about as much sense as a pigeon playing chess, so let’s break down some of the “highlights,” if you can even call them that.
Logo | 30D Change | 24H Change | Circulating | Price $ | Diluted Cap $ | Cap # | Symbol | Name | |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | -5% | 0 | 2.42B | 54 | BONK | Bonk | |||
1 | 0.11 | 566M | 120 | PEOPLE | ConstitutionDAO | ||||
2 | -2% | 100% | 48.13 | 1.01B | 77 | ORDI | ORDI | ||
3 | +2% | 78% | 0.2 | 292M | 268 | TRU | TrueFi | ||
4 | 98% | 0.04 | 1.79B | 55 | JASMY | JasmyCoin | |||
5 | -3% | 1.6 | 4.21B | 64 | FET | Fetch.ai | |||
6 | +5% | 0.39 | 114M | 412 | BAKE | BakeryToken | |||
7 | -3% | 2.77 | 277M | 359 | HIGH | Highstreet | |||
8 | -4% | 0.47 | 501M | 154 | POLYX | Polymesh | |||
9 | 76% | 0.06 | 446M | 175 | SKL | SKALE | |||
10 | 42% | 1.58 | 3.31B | 62 | CORE | Core | |||
11 | +20% | 0.86 | 116M | 405 | CTK | Shentu | |||
12 | -1% | 97.06 | 257M | 256 | TRB | Tellor | |||
13 | -1% | 5.13 | 1.33B | 94 | PENDLE | Pendle | |||
14 | 65% | 21.49 | 215M | 358 | AUCTION | Bounce Token | |||
15 | -5% | 20% | 2.03 | 2.03B | 146 | ARKM | Arkham | ||
16 | -4% | 0.02 | 20.1M | 902 | GFT | Gifto | |||
17 | 0.01 | 250M | 390 | SUN | Sun (New) | ||||
18 | 99% | 0 | 102M | 442 | WIN | WINkLink | |||
19 | 74.35 | 71.9M | 521 | WNXM | Wrapped NXM | ||||
20 | -1% | 0.8 | 800M | 197 | YGG | Yield Guild Games | |||
21 | -7% | 73% | 0.44 | 436M | 189 | ELF | aelf | ||
22 | +3% | 93% | 0 | 90.3M | 487 | LEVER | LeverFi | ||
23 | -4% | 38% | 0.39 | 387M | 345 | ONG | Ontology Gas | ||
24 | +11% | 1.44 | 54.2M | 594 | CEL | Celsius | |||
25 | +1% | 3.19 | 42.9M | 668 | SBD | Steem Dollars | |||
26 | -2% | 0.53 | 630M | 150 | LUNA | Terra | |||
27 | -9% | 74% | 0.72 | 180M | 369 | KNC | Kyber Network Crystal v2 | ||
28 | -2% | 17% | 1.12 | 2.36B | 147 | BNX | BinaryX |
So there you have it, folks. Another day, another crypto- induced existential crisis. The markets are as predictable as a toddler on a sugar rush, and just as likely to leave you crying on the bathroom floor. Invest at your own risk, and always remember: never trust a coin with a meme you don’t understand (or one that involves a dog wearing a hat).