Featured image of post 2024-06-20 Pump It or Dump It? Crypto Market Mayhem

2024-06-20 Pump It or Dump It? Crypto Market Mayhem

Strap yourselves in, degenerates, because the crypto casino is open and the whales are playing dice with your life savings! We're diving into the volatile world of crypto with the subtlety of a rhino on roller skates.

  • DG (Decentral Games)
    • $0.02: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • Up 48% in 24 hours? Someone must have found a working VR headset that doesn’t make you look like an idiot. Let’s see if this metaverse play is the real deal or just another pixelated pipe dream. Remember kids, virtual land is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine unless other people actually want to hang out there.
  • NMR (Numeraire)
    • $19.75: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
    • This one claims to use AI to make better stock predictions. Up 9% but still down 15% for the week - maybe their AI needs to spend less time on crypto Twitter and more time studying the Bloomberg terminal.
  • AIDOGE (ArbDoge AI)
    • $0.00: ⭐⭐⭐
    • The name says it all. It’s like Dogecoin went to a meme-themed rave and woke up with a blockchain hangover. I’m not saying it’s a bad investment, but I am saying that you should probably consult with your financial advisor, your therapist, and your Magic 8-Ball before hitting that buy button.

Looks like someone on WallStreetBets turned $134,903 into a weekend in Vegas with some risky Nvidia stock options. Wish I could say the same about my crypto portfolio. Speaking of risky, let’s unpack this dumpster fire of a market and see if we can find any diamonds in the rough (spoiler alert: probably not).


Logo 30D Change 24H Change Circulating Price $ Diluted Cap $ Cap # Symbol Name
0 +48% 0.02 14.1M 1322 DG Decentral Games
1 +26% 1.6 4.21B 61 FET Fetch.ai
2 +17% 82% 0.02 36.2M 752 NCT PolySwarm
3 +14% 81% 0.23 223M 287 LCX LCX
4 +14% 86% 0.25 250M 264 0x0 0x0.ai
5 +14% 93% 0.52 131M 356 BTRST Braintrust
6 +12% 78% 1.94 124M 423 PHB Phoenix
7 +12% 0.14 142M 976 UNS UNS TOKEN
8 +10% 0 4.33M 1406 REV Revain
9 +10% 12% 0.22 222M 776 ALT Alitas
10 +9% 34% 0.01 72.6M 792 TARA Taraxa
11 +9% 0.02 12.2M 1280 PRE Presearch
12 +9% 20.65 2.07B 6663 VERI Veritaseum
13 +9% 62% 19.75 217M 336 NMR Numeraire
14 +9% 86% 4.74 47.4M 650 UNFI Unifi Protocol DAO
15 +9% 78% 2.38 47.5M 685 ROUTE Router Protocol
16 +9% 0 66.9M 544 AIDOGE ArbDoge AI
17 +8% 77% 0.02 242M 279 ACH Alchemy Pay
18 +8% 65% 0.02 184M 361 XYM Symbol
19 +7% 99% 0.13 128M 352 BITCOIN HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu (ERC-20)
20 +7% 0 1.77M 1734 PLAY Play Token
21 +7% 0.74 654M 113 OM MANTRA
22 +7% 0.03 202M 374 SNT Status
23 +7% 0.02 20.4M 871 GFT Gifto
24 +7% 83% 0.12 47.7M 659 VAI VAIOT
25 +7% 107.54 60.1M 547 DPI DeFi Pulse Index
26 +7% 60% 0 82.8M 584 XCN Onyxcoin
27 +6% 82% 18.01 195M 300 DESO Decentralized Social
28 +6% 5% 0 16.6M 1869 VEED VIMworld

The crypto market is a fickle mistress, full of wild swings, empty promises, and the occasional rug pull. It’s the Wild West of finance, but instead of cowboys and saloons, it’s nerds and memes. So buckle up, keep your hands inside the ride at all times, and for the love of Satoshi, don’t invest more than you can afford to lose.

Made with the laziness 🦥
by a busy guy